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Somebody needs to complete the wacky broadcaster trifecta

We all know that the Diamondbacks apparently have our number. It'll be nice to get out of Arizona and back into May. Till we do, here's a followup to Keith Hernandez vs Kelly Calabrese (from the Onion):

Keith Hernandez Narrowing Down List Of Places Women Do And Don't Belong

NEW YORK--Mets broadcaster Keith Hernandez, the subject of recent controversy after remarking that women "don't belong in the dugout," called a press conference yesterday to further explain places where he believes women do or do not belong. "While I still do not believe that women belong in dugouts, locker rooms, and many other locations, I believe women do in fact belong in certain other places," Hernandez said. "For instance, they belong in souvenir kiosks, reception areas, certain places in the press box, and even limited locations in large board rooms. That's not to say that I think they belong only in the kitchen or bedroom, regardless of where they're best suited to be. I just don't think they should be in the dugout." Although he was not specifically asked, Hernandez also took time to speak at length as to what he believed was the proper place for society's Hispanics.
First Keith Hernandez. Then Rick Sutcliffe. Who's next to complete the trifecta?

My secret plan is to kidnap Steve Garvey, slip him some ecstacy, then throw him in the booth with Ted and Jerry. Jbox'll have the video cameras rolling and we'll have completed the wacky broadcaster trifecta in San Diego.

It's almost too easy...