If you know ol' jbox, you know that I like to talk about the ladies of the Pad Squad. Some may say that I don't spread the love to the guys on the Pad Squad. I might just slap you across the mouth if you did say that, because we talk about those dudes too. We name check them from time to time, but we don't really know them as well.
When the Padres opened Petco before the season to let fans tour the facility and meet some of the players, I remember seeing the new group of Pad Squadders for the first time. I thought myself an expert on the squad. Then I saw all these new faces and just wanted to give up. I whined about how I could never keep up with 30 of them. With all of these new people I knew that I'd never be able to work my way into the inner circle. Being on the outside would mean that Dex and I would never be invited to the Pad Squad Pajama parties.
Anyway, we saw this new dude Austin, he had some kinda crazy hair. A big curly mass of the most delicate hair I'd ever seen. It was a perfectly coifed white guy afro. It shimmered in the sunlight like spun gold. I convinced myself that it must have been placed on his scalp by glorious angels.
I remember saying out loud to myself "That dude is all right."
So you can imagine my surprise when Jonny Dub and I were at a day game and saw this dude roll up with a fancy new hair cut. He looked like he had greased it up with some gels or "product". He had that spikey hair that the ladies go for now-a-days. It was Austin.
We asked him if the Padres had made him cut it. Before he could answer, I started cursing John Moores. "Why must man continue to meddle with nature?!"
After my tirade, he told us that he cut it on his own free will. All we could say was "Bring back the 'fro".