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Open Thread 4/30: Padres vs The Uncontrollable Urge to Suck

I feel like I've used that joke before, but whatever. It's relevant. That's a good joke when it's timeless.

Here's the best thing about today's game... even though we're likely about to get swept at home by the Dodgers... It's the last day of April! It's been April Fools all month long, but if there's one thing the Padres are good at, it's May. The Padres are good in May and tomorrow's May and we're about to go off on this weak ass division.

Here's what I'm worried about though. Do we have all the pieces in place? We've tapped into the supercomputer. We've got the bras on our heads. But we haven't had Anna Kournikova throw out the first pitch. Is that like not connecting the doll? Are we going to end up with a Russian nuke in the middle of left field?

I kid you not, Padres fans. I'm nervous.