clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Major League Baseball gives in to the hippies

In an effort to curb the influence of scumbag drug cartels, the MLB will be selling their own approved supplements. If there's two things the damn government ain't takin' away from me, it's my guns and my mary joo wanna. You can pry my rifle from my cold dead hands and my hookah from my shrunken blue lips. Legalize it! I for one applaud the MLB. The boys want juice, give them the juice.

This struck me a little weird:

Baseball also added amphetamines to its list of banned substances this year. Fehr doesn't think amphetamine use in the sport was as widespread as some claimed.

"I thought that most of what you read was probably significantly overblown," he said.
If I'm to believe my secret sources (and Ball Four), then as I understand it, greenies can be found right between the Gatorade jug and the Red Bull fridge in most major and minor league clubhouses. Seriously. Maybe Fehr should put on a fake moustache and take a closer look.