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My Vegas Diary: Part 1

I went to Vegas over the weekend for the Super Bowl with my brother-in-law, father-in-law, my wife's uncle, and a rag tag bunch of old guys. Jonny Dub was there also. I kept a diary.

Dear Diary,

Waited forever at the airport today. Fog had us stuck in San Diego for a couple of hours. Hung out with Jonny Dub, Jer, Phil, Tony and Bud. I still haven't shaved off my playoff beard. It's looking very very ugly. Though normally, I am something of an Adonis, this moustache and beard gives me more of a wild Brad Pitt look. It's true, Diary. Diary, you and I know it to be true. Within the first three minutes of our almost two hour long wait, Bud had already made a dirty joke about the beard. Something about a glazed donut.

Jonny Dub was a little bit worried about the whole Vegas trip as it's his first time with us. Everybody keeps hinting at the initiation that he's going to be undergoing if he wants to come along every year. Something about spending the night in a barrel.

We kept spotting Jim Harbaugh at the airport. Flying Southwest Airlines with the rest of us. He wasn't even in the A group. He stood behind us in the B line. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

By the time we got to Vegas, Bud gave me and Jonny Dub some advice on how to save water. "If you don't piss on your hands, then you probably don't have to wash them." I'm not sure how I square that away with Moises Alou's advice of "If you do piss on your hands, you will hit .300 and 30 home runs." I can't remember who then further deduced that, "If you have a headache, then take a crap in your cap."

We finally arrived at the Vegas airport and took a limo over to the Rio, where we were staying. Everybody got all checked in and we received our players club cards. After checking in, we went over to the Rio buffet and had ourselves a late lunch or an early dinner depending how much roast beef you attribute to each meal.

The buffet at the Rio is excellent.

I ate so much shrimp, sushi and crab legs, I almost didn't have enough room for the fish and chips, pork buns, pizza, hot dogs, roast beef and taco bar. Then, for dessert, I had creme brulee and a lemon merangue thing. Diary, I will tell you, I have never had so much food before in my life. And yet today, I'm looking as trim and fit as ever. Between you and me, Diary, I don't know how I do it. I am some kind of miracle. What a great way to start off a Vegas trip. Limo ride. Great buffet. Beautiful cocktail waitresses flirting with us. Ahhhh... Vegas. You shine on me so sweetly.

After the buffet we hit the craps tables. I brought $300 to gamble with and within three minutes at the craps tables, I had lost $100 of it. Then, I promptly lost another $40 at poker.

I can tell you one thing, Diary. All that sweetly shining crap I told you about a second ago might be true, but at the same time... Vegas can be a bitch.