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Let's find a manager

By Dex

Finding a manager is a weird thing. It's not like finding a new ace of the staff or a new power hitting corner outfielder. For one thing, you have to have a manager. If we don't add any outfielders or pitchers in free agency, we know that our replacement guys are gonna come up out of the minors. For another thing, I'm almost 83% sure that managers don't actually do anything most of the time. If there was some sort of fool-proof way of telling if a player was lying to you, I'd be 98% sure that managers don't actually do anything. You could just ask a guy if he's good to go and as long as he's honest, you could pretty much just go by that.

So therefore, we're stuck having to spend all this time trying to fill a position that we're not really sure has any impact on anything. I'm only partly kidding.

OK so. With that said... Here's this weekend's reading material.

Although Towers wouldn't reveal any names on Friday, it's believed that a leading candidate is Angels pitching coach Bud Black, who was a teammate of Tony Gwynn's at San Diego State and lives in exclusive Rancho Santa Fe just north of San Diego. . . .

The 49-year-old Black appears to fit the qualities the Padres are looking for in a manager.
Apparently, the qualities that we're looking for are as follows:
  • Rich
  • Short commute
  • Knows Tony Gwynn
  • Aztec alumni
I mean... That's cool I guess...
Towers said the Padres are looking for a manager with experience at the big league level, but not necessarily as a manager; who has been with a winning ballclub;
See, this is where grammar and punctuation kick in. When I read that, I didn't notice that we were dealing with f_ckin' semi-colons. The most pretentious of all punctuation marks. I initially read that as "...the Padres are looking for a manager with experience at the big league level, but not necessarily as a manager who has been with a winning ballclub." But that would have been ridiculous.

'We want to chose the right guy here. Literally, these are big shoes to fill here,' Towers said.
Now that's just rude. Why not just go all the way, KT? "Literally, this is a gigantic hat to fill because Bruce Bochy has an enormous head."

Other names in the article include Ron Washington and Ron Wotus, both of whom I'm rooting against because I absolutely do not want a guy named Ron in charge of a San Diego team. I truly believe that the guys at ESPN only know three things about San Diego and they're all Anchorman references. Loved the movie, but come on.

In any case... Let's all peer into our Gaslamp Crystal Balls. We'll figure out prizes later.
  1. Who will be the next Padres manager?

  3. When will he be hired?
Winner gets something special at the next pizza feed. Leave your predictions in the comments.

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