clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

How to revolutionize baseball

I'm gonna go ahead and steal a post idea from the jbox and go with my own set of new rules in the effort to revolutionize baseball.

  • Re-allow the spitter. You can use whatever substance you want, but you have to hold whatever substance it is in your mouth. So if you want to use vaseline, you have to wear it on your teeth. You can use an emery board as long as you can somehow file the ball without actually taking the emery board out of your mouth. If everybody's doing it, then let's legalize it. Like sweet mary jane.
  • Play fewer games. I don't mean just go down to 148 or something like that. I want to see every team play every other team in their division twice. Then I want them to play the teams in other divisions in the league exactly one time. Then I want another 5 games devoted to playing games based on formal challenges issued during the preseason. Like the Padres could formally challenge the Tigers and if the Tigers had the balls, they'd better accept, or else it would be a PR nightmare. How many games would that be? Like 20? That's perfect. Play them once a week and drop the rosters down to 12.
  • Make the even numbered batters in the lineup run around the bases clockwise instead of counter-clockwise. It's up to the fielders to know which base will force which out. Only one batter per base. Imagine the possibilities on double steals! It might be well within strategy for two runners to both try to steal second at the same time just in the hopes that the fielder can't tag them both and one of them ends up in scoring position.
  • The world loves painful groin humor, right? Put high powered magnets inside of the athletic protectors of the fielders. Then, provide a random number of baseballs with magnetic cores to the game. Nobody knows which balls will be forced towards the jocks of unsuspecting players, but once that ball's in the game... oh the hilarity!