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If I'm not sad, then why am I crying?

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You know what's weird? Having the Padres lose the way they did this time has completely sapped my energy for baseball. It took my baseball energy and just threw it out the window. Here it was. There it went.

I think also it's Fox's commercials directed at fans who's teams didn't make it into the playoffs. While the Padres were in the playoffs, I could be on Tommy Lasorda's side. Kinda like when he was manager for the Olympic team. I could say, "I hate them Dodgers, but Lasorda is fighting for a good cause". Now that the Padres are out, I see those commercials and I involuntarily spit on my TV. Or if I'm out someplace and they happen to come on a TV, I involuntarily spit on the person next to me. Or on my shoe.

There's a little bit of a satisfying pain though in having your team lose and knowing that there are like minded fans out there who feel the same way you do. I talk to other random Padres fans and most of them have only managed to watch one or two non-Padres playoff games since being eliminated. It's that mutual joy followed by the mutual pain. It's like going out with your friends and eating a ton of really spicy hot wings. Then, later, when you're on the toilet and you're getting a burnt butthole, you can take some solace in the fact that your friends are somewhere doing the same thing you're doing. Burnt crack and all.

I think the apathy comes with the fact that people will live and die by their own team for 162 games and by the time the playoffs roll around, they only have energy for their own and none of you other people.

Like for example, I don't even know who won last night's pivotal Game 7. I assume it was the Mets. Lemme check.

WTF!?!?!?! THE CARDINALS WON????? ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME???

ugh.