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How sexy is the Padres locker room now?

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The Padres were already known for their Big League Hair. We were the club that had Anna Kournikova throw out the first pitch that began the greatest month in our club's history. Brian Giles already lurked the locker room making out with players and teabagging reporters. The history of our club includes Carlos Hernandez showing up to retirement parties in all leather. Steve Garvey once lurked America's Finest City looking for tail and finding it in ample supply.

And now we have Mike Piazza.

I don't even swing that way and I am tittilated. I can not even wait to see Brian Giles make out with Mike Piazza on camera only to have Ryan Klesko come out and start a catfight out of girlish jealousy. You thought there were rumors before about Piazza? Everybody in the world saw Giles make out with Ramon. Giles has a history for this kind of stuff. And now that sexy, hairy Piazza is where he belongs. In San Diego.

It's gonna be a good blogging season for Gaslamp Ball. I'm so excited.