clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Gaslamp Ball meets the Oregon Trail

New, 16 comments

So I was playing some Oregon Trail a couple days ago and I decided to make a team of Gaslamp Ballers (in case you don't know Kev is the third admin who doesn't do squat). So anyway I decide to make it tough on myself and I'm the Illinois Farmer and I start out in March. Right away you are thinking... "Don't do it jbox! Farmers only start off with a little money for supplies and for crying out loud March is the rainy season!"

I know dudes, I know. We were destined to have a tough time of it. Nobody said that finding our way to Oregon was gonna be easy. Right out of the gate I tried to caulk up the wagon and float across the river. We lose precious supplies and Kev drowns on the first day! Oh well, more food for the rest of us. Our collective health gets very poor in no time and another river is on it's way. I'm thinking to myself that there is no way the wagon flips again, so I try floating across again. I really didn't have much choice because I didn't have any money to take a ferry. Second river, Jonny Dub drowns when we flip and lose a ton of supplies again (I like how Jonny's death is a total side note in the announcement. Like we should be more concerned about the lost supplies.)

I know now that this is an ill fated journey. On the Oregon Trail there is no time to mourn or feel sorry for yourself. You gotta keep moving. I decided to step up the pace and drop the food rations to meager. Oregon or bust! Nerdhater gets Typhoid right after I pull myself together. Hold on theNerdhater! Hold on! I slow the pace and increase rations trying to save him. Too late theNerdhater is dead. It's just me and Dex.

Dex get's a broken leg right before we make it to our first fort. Now I would have tried to do more to save Dex but I didn't realize you could die of a broken leg. Times were tough back in the day. So I guess you can tell what I'm getting at. Dex dies like 2 days later of broken leg syndrome.

Well it's just me and the open trail from here on out. Ol' jbox is gonna have to bring it on home for my team. Then my oxen take like two steps and I get typhoid. At this point I'm real pissed at theNerdhater, I think he passed along his typhoid to me. I quickly increase rations and slow the pace to a steady walk. Now that there is a ton of food I should be okay from here on out. But as soon as I start again I'm dead of typhoid. I guess before I died I had this tombstone made up and placed it out on the trail. Poor Gaslamp Ball.