If you've read the site for any amount of time, you know that we'll occasionally sit next to Foul Ball Guy and watch as he tries to chase down any foul (and sometimes fair) ball that comes near our section. He'll jump in front of people. Knock other people's hands out of the way. Generally act amazingly obnoxious about grabbing for the balls. One game he literally reached between my wife's cousin's legs and under her seat for a foul ball that had rolled there. Another time he held jbox's arms against the wall while he gloved a roller. The ultimate might have been when he shoved Jonny Dub over the wall and onto the field to go after a ball. Jon sustained head injuries.
He bled from the head.
One particular game, between innings, Red Ruff and Blue Mew were tossing squishy balls to the kids. Foul Ball Guy stood in front of kids ranging in age from 3-13 and snagged every ball that was tossed into the stands. The "move" was this: He'd intercept balls obviously being tossed to little kids, then just to show that he was "cool" and not a ball hog, he'd hand the ball over to the original intended recipient. I kid you not. He was intercepting squishy balls from toddlers, from little girls, from mothers with babies and then redistributing them himself. He just had to get his hands on the balls.
Maybe that's why this guy strikes a little bit of a nerve. Almost 3,000 baseballs this guy has collected. When is it enough? Don't they lose meaning after a while? What do you do with that many baseballs? Is it really that impressive?
My theory is that it's a sickness. These are guys who were told too many times by their mothers that they shouldn't play with themselves, and now they've become obsessed with balls. I know that may seem snide and Freudian, but consider this incriminating photo.
That, dear reader, is not a healthy person.
Update [2005-9-23 11:40:19 by jbox]:
This morning I heard this Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" advert on the radio. "Mr. Overzealous Foul Ball Catcher" it has the lyrics and a MP3. I couldn't help but think of our dreaded enemy Foul Ball Guy!