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This is a joke, right?

Do the Padres even want to win? How has our magic number managed to stay the same for three days straight? What is this?

Score. Some. Runs.

From the UT a couple of days ago:

Although Bochy has said he expects to retain all of his coaches for 2006, Towers declined comment when asked about the makeup of next year's coaching staff. "I really don't want to get into it right yet," Towers said. "I want to focus on trying to win a division right now. We've got some free agents now who probably want to know what's going on with their situation as well."

Bochy, you've got to be kidding me, right? Your coaching staff obviously sucks. Who on this coaching staff could Bochy possibly imagine expect keeping? How can anybody possibly imagine that this coaching staff is worth keeping? You realize that you're not making it into the post season, don't you? Bochy. It's time to wake up.

The team can't hit. They can't run the bases. They'd be halfway decent on defense if it weren't for the constant lapses in concentration.

The Channel 4 guys and others online go on and on about how the Padres just need to go .500 the rest of the way to put a ton of pressure on the rest of the pack.

Ummmm.... I have news. I've come to accept it and maybe you all should too.

The Padres are not going to go .500 the rest of the way.

The only way the Padres go .500 the rest of the way, and I am not even kidding, is if Jake Peavy and Adam Eaton pitched every other game. That's seriously the only way I can see .500 happening.

I wish there were some way for the Padres to read this, get fired up and prove me wrong, but they won't. And even if they did read it, they'd just flip their gorgeous hair and say, "Well we're the beautiful big league ball players! You're just some dork with a blog!" And why would they say that? Because this offense is a punchless group of runway models with fat wallets and zero desire. I'll say that to any of their faces too (except maybe Fick). I can take any limp wristed slap that these pansies would call a punch.

This is the most depressing first place season I've ever seen. I wish somebody would give me a reason to be happy about this season. And I don't want to hear about how we're going to limp into the playoffs and from there it's a crapshoot.

But maybe it is the only thing we can say about them. I guess some team has to put the "crap" in "crapshoot". It's a shame it has to be us.