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The latest way to talk about the Padres

You saw the game last night, right? I think everybody can go ahead and throw the win/loss records out the window. It's obvious now what kind of team the Padres are. They're the kind of team that wants people to laugh at them. They're the bad boys of baseball.

Oh you think your team's so great? Are they going into the post season? Yes? OK, watch the Padres punk you.

You looking at rebuilding for next year? No chance at the playoffs? Go ahead and beat up on us then. Here, we'll even stick guys into defensive positions that they don't know. We'll intentionally keep our best hitters on the bench for no obvious reason. Shove us back under .500. Now watch us laugh in your face while we sit on our 5 game lead and ride it into the postseason.

I see now what should have been obvious to me all along. All season, the Padres have been playing like Inigo Montoya. Toying with teams. Losing series that they should win. Admiring other teams and their numbers. Your technique is masterful indeed. Yes, you play wonderfully! All so that when the time comes, and a challenge is presented, they can smile and wait for the inevitable question, "You're getting your ass beat! Why are you smiling?"

"There's something you should know," our boys will say with a swagger and a wink. "I'm not left handed, bitch."