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PANIC

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I'm pushing the panic button now. You see me pushing it? We're in the second half now. I'm panicking. I'm panicking because the Padres suck Eskimo butt and nobody in the organization seems aware of it. They're being fooled by statistics, and their brethren lies and damn lies.

(By the way, I meant no offense to Eskimos. I didn't mean to say that sucking Eskimo butt is necessarily any worse than sucking say, native American butt or aborigine butt. Also, I only make those examples as they are the indigenous people of their respective lands.)

Here's what I think of the Padres not making any moves in their apparent attempt to coast into the playoffs. I think it sucks. I mean, is this what the team has become? Bad decisions. Poor execution. Lack of timely hitting. Let me tell you. When Sean Burroughs is the offensive threat of the team then you may as well bend over now cause one way or another, your ass is kicked.

And also. Bochy, just start Nady now. Shut the hell up about your dumb excuses as to why you're not playing him and play the best team you have out there. Please everybody, vote Bochy for mayor because he's starting to get on my nerves as a manager. The very least a manager can do is put together a decent lineup card. The next step would be to actually get his team to perform.

"Oh but Javier Vazquez has such good numbers against us." Just typing that, I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

"The Diamondbacks are in second place and you did say that they have a solid offense and an underrated staff." Seriously, are you looking to get kicked in the crotch?

These next three games are must win games. If they can't manage a split against the Diamondbacks, then they aren't going to the playoffs. It's as simple as that. If they can only manage a split then I don't know what to think.

It's disgusting.

I'll be sick, puking all over the blog, if we come back Monday having lost this series. If we get swept, I'm going to punch myself in the jock just to prove to those around me that I can feel no worse pain than my favorite baseball team playing this poorly.

i look at this team
sucking on Eskimo butt
i punch my own jock