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Deep Thoughts

This is what I thought about the baseball and the Padres today:

  • Is baseball the final battle ground for philosophers and scientists trying to mesh the randomness of quantum physics with the predestined order of newtonian physics? To clarify: Sabermetricians are constantly trying to manipulate statistics of prior events to determine the likely results of the future (Newtonian), while traditionalists will point to things like "clutchness", "makeup", "heart" and "luck" to demonstrate why such manipulations are hogwash and utterly doomed to failure (Quantum).

  • How old is the average Pad Squadder? They seem to vary in age. Am I too old to be a Pad Squadder? If I'm not too old, could I be peppy enough to be on the Pad Squad? If drunk chicks hit on me while I was Pad Squadding, would Jess be jealous, or would she take it as part of the job? Would her jealousness relate directly to the skankiness of said drunk chicks? If so, would the jealousy increase as the skankiness of the drunk chick increased? Or would it decrease?

  • Why is it that whenever I doodle Phil Nevin, he comes out bucktoothed? I know he's not bucktoothed, but my absent minded doodles have made him bucktoothed and with a unibrow. Is that indicative of me being a mean person?

  • What the heck is Geoff from Ducksnorts doing in Canada?

  • Do all those high schoolers who work at the Hall of Fame really live in and about Cooperstown? There doesn't seem to be anybody around there. Where do they come from?
And that's what I thought about. No joke.