I wasn't so much bothered about Ryne Sandberg giving Phil Nevin miniprops. Instead, here's the bit that irritated me about Ryne Sandberg's preview:
Prediction: Twins win all three gamesWha-What!? All three games? The Padres are slumping, but the Twins just lost back to back series against the Giants and the Dodgers. The Padres are much better than the Giants and the Dodgers. Slumps happen. To predict a team is going to get swept is to predict that one team will completely dominate the other team in all aspects of the game. How can you say that a first place team in any division is going to get swept? And to say that the Padres are going to get swept in a series that features Jake Peavy in the Game 3 matchup... I feel like somebody just spit in my eye.
So here's my prediction: I'm predicting career starts from Stauffer, Lawrence and Peavy. I'm predicting that the team, collectively, is going to look at one another and say, "What the hell is going on here?" The ship will be righted. The battle will be won.
And here's the difference between positive thoughts and something with a little more kick: It's one thing to say, "Nothing is f*cked here" while the plane is crashing into the mountain. We're at a point now where the haters and doubters are jumping off of the bandwagon. Now it's just pure will to win. The true Padres fans are going to will this team to victory with a burst of positive vibe akin to an effing butterfly exploding out of an effing cocoon. That's right, mofos. An effing cocooned butterfly. Some of the true Padres fans may not even how true a fan they are. But their vibe will be felt. All because stupid Ryne Sandberg decided to poke us with a stick. Padres gonna throw down tonight. There's going to be some serious poop hitting the fan this weekend.
I predict a Padres sweep.