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Keys to the Offseason

So I started working on this "Keys to the Offseason" back in November and then never got around to finishing it. The first 7 are from back in November. I'll finish it up now.

You can look at last years "Keys to the Season" on our old site.

  1.  Do not overpay Trevor Hoffman, but make sure he finishes his career in San Diego.  Trevor is a great closer, but he must be paid at his current value.  He can still close out most games but he seems to give up 2 hits in the ninth with runs scored here and there.  Trevor is asking for money to compensate him for his past performance and loyalty.  That's not how business or good baseball works.  Make sure he is treated fairly and show how much you appreciate him.  I think that will go a long way with Hoffman.
  2.  Get Brian Giles back, but don't get caught up in any crazy bidding wars.
  3.  Phil Nevin is back in town during the offseason.  His family and his home are in San Diego.  Keep him away from current Padres players.  It was reported on 1090am that he frequently calls Mark Sweeney (now you know why he really left SD) when he is feeling depressed so that he can be cheered up.  Current players don't need to be brought down by Nevin's poor attitude.  Nevin needs professional help.
  4.  Bring in those Petco fences.  Nobody likes boring baseball.  
  5.  Get anonymous player R.K. some medicated creams and shampoos.
  6.  Get rid of as many 2005 players as possible. If I were Towers I would create a think tank. Their sole purpose would be to figure out a way to ditch Klesko. Even if their only idea was to leave him in a ditch, that would be a success.
  7.  What ever you do, do not trade Mark Loretta for some hack backup catcher. Okay that was a joke, it was written after the fact. For real, current stuff from now on.
  8.  I don't know about you but I want to see John Moores more involved in what is going on with the team. Remember back in 1998 he was all over the place, I used to see him in the Padres Store and on the news all the time. Now he just looks old and lurks in the shadows. He's like the evil Judge in "The Natural". Actually I probably don't want to hear from him because that just means he'll be talking about how he won't spend any money.
  9.  Acquire one player under the age of 35. Is that too much to ask? I don't want the Padres locker room smelling like old person. All those cardigans, Werther's Originals, medicated powders and Depends in the lockers just smell up the place.
  10.  Try to get Vasgersian fired. I dunno catch him dropping foul language or saying something that wasn't meant to be on the air.
  11.  Find some magical troll that can tell prophetic riddles and sprinkle magic powder on Padres to make them hit. How does Dave Magadan still have a job? Somebody must be able to teach this bunch of primadonnas how to hit. If Mags can do it then he better start working with them now.