clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Thanksgiving Eve

New, 4 comments

Ahhh Thanksgiving Eve. The one guaranteed day of the year where Humpday is also Friday. Tomorrow is a day of thanks and we should all think about what we're thankful for.

In celebration of Thanksgiving, here's a poem that I have written for you all to enjoy.

Thanksgiving: The Poem
by Dex

As I eat my turkey all stuffed and covered with goo
I'm thankful in my heart for many things. It's true.
For my family and my friends. My pets and my nice home
But also for the Padres, for whom I write this poem.

I'm thankful that Brian Giles is so comfy with himself
That he's always frolicking naked like some impish woodland elf.
I'm thankful for Khalil and his robot vulcan ways
And for diving here and there as he makes amazing plays

For the Pad Squad and their foam balls and the interviews we've had
And the booty shorts and the headbands and the walkie talkies. Rad!
I just wish that they would throw me some of the giveaway crap
Or at least when taking breaks to take them on my lap

(I'm thankful that our readers, don't tell my wife this stuff
Cause when I get me busted, it makes my life so rough.)

I really like our pitching staff and I'm thankful for those guys
And the way that they get strikeouts, groundouts and the occasional pop flies

Our offense on the other hand, sure could use some work
Cause when outs get made with men on base, it drives my ass berserk.
I throw sh_t and I curse and I whine like a child
But when they score the runs and win, I find myself beguiled.

And that's why I'm a fan. Cheering and heckling like a dope.
As much as I get down on them, I still can find some hope.
First place in the west though an ugly first indeed
At least they didn't completely suck like Scott Stapp, the dude from Creed

That's my Thanksgiving poem, and I hope it didn't suck
But I've never claimed to be a poet, so seriously, WTF.
And lest you think jbox and I forgot about you all
We both are thankful for the peeps, our friends at Gaslamp Ball!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!