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The underwears habits of your San Diego Padres

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Have you ever wondered what the boys got going on under their uniforms?

Me neither, dude. Seriously.

However, jbox and I had dinner with several ladies on Friday night who felt the need to let us know that some, if not all, of the ladies in the house do wonder. And through the miracle of modern binocular technology and deductive reasoning when looking for underwears lines, they gave us some notes.

Also, as an aside, why do women go to the trouble of hiding their underwears lines? Do they want guys to think that they aren't wearing underwears? If that's true, then why are women self conscious about their nipples? They take all the pains to hide bra straps and unseemly lines, but they also would prefer that their nipples not respond to various environmental stimulus like the cold, or a strong gusty wind, or tune in tokyo.

Anyways, from jbox's notes...

  • Brian Giles - Bicycle shorts style underwears. You'd think that Gilly would be the commando of the bunch, but apparently, his tendency towards nudity behind the scenes doesn't affect his desire to prevent chafing of the field on the field, if you know what I mean.

  • Loretta and Khalil - Boxer briefs. Comfy and yet practical. Modest when changing. If you're planning on turning a really smoove double play, you have to be exactly on the same page as your counterpart. Apparently, that same page has a paragraph or two on underwears.

  • Aki - Tighty whities. Kickin' old school. Also, the ladies felt the need to tell us that they were perving Aki one game and they noticed that Aki seemed especially excited about something going on in the bullpen. Especially excited. I won't say no more other than it's good to know that Aki can have a nice healthy time of it if he has to.

  • Ramon Hernandez - Commando. I'll give you ladies a moment or two to catch your breaths. Swoon if you must... OK... Jbox and I were kinda wondering about the idea of Ramon going commando considering that of all the guys on the team, he'd have to be the one guy guaranteed to be wearing a cup, but they said they couldn't find any lines on the guy. If you've ever worn a jock strap and cup before, then you'll know that there kinda has to be some lines. Specifically under the butt cheeks, you'd have to expect a couple of elastic bands, but the ladies said that nothing of the sort was going on. Where could he be hiding that stuff? A mystery to be sure.
Also, they gave their opinions that Khalil looks like Owen Wilson and Mike TV from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory looks like a 10 year old Trevor Hoffman. Both facts which you may or may not have noticed, but they also mentioned that Clay Hensley looks exactly like Lucas from Days of Our Lives. An observation which I'm very proud to say means absolutely nothing to me.