So, Dex and Jon rolled into St Louis yesterday afternoon and were fortunate enough to have very good weather. Normally, it's 95+ with unbearable humidty.  Yesterday was in the mid 80s.  Good thing too, since we were outside quite a bit.

Anyway, they call me from a few miles out of town and are getting directions to my house.  I quickly realize a difference in the way West Coasters talk about highways (freeways) as they all put a "The" in front of the number.  We don't do that in the midwest, so it was strange hearing Dex say, "So, we take THE 255, to THE 55".

Once they pull into my subdivision, we have to figure out how to get the truck turned around. It's a large moving truck, towing a car behind it and they can't back up.  Luckily, we have a full circle at the end of the street, so they just decide to drive down and turn around.  Well, it takes longer than expected, so I hop on my bike and ride down to the end of the street.  Turns out, they couldn't quite make the turn because of a car parked on the street.  Jon and Dex knocked on the guy's door, but he refused to answer.  Another neighbor came out and told us that the guy is a "real S.O.B." and was probably enjoying the situation. 

Dex decides to take the car off the trailer, to allow us to manuever the truck.  It takes a bit of time, but it does the trick and we quickly get the truck parked in front of my house...now, we're just all a little sweaty.  We go inside and I introduce my new baby girl to the Gaslampers.  Unfortunately, she just got her first vaccinations that morning, so she was a little cranky.  Still, Dex and Jon seemed to have a good time.

After a bit of hanging out, a friend of mine joined us and we headed downtown to take the Budweiser brewery tour.  Turns out Jon likes to brew his own beer, so we figured he'd be able to get some fine tips on the tour.  During the tour, I get a call from my wife because the baby is crying, won't eat and has a red, swollen leg from the shot. I can barely hear her over the crying/screaming.  I feel really guilty for having fun while she's dealing with the baby.  I place a call to the doctor, mid tour, and await a response.  When I get it, I try to talk really quietly, but I still get lots of dirty looks from the old women on the tour.

The tour showed us the famous Budweiser Clydesdales, their stables and all the steps in the brewing process.  Unfortunately, when we got to the step that described a "tea bagging" process, I couldn't hold in my laugher (I'm very immature sometimes)...and then Dex was laughing at my immaturity...and then we all felt like schmucks for laughing at such a juvenile thing during a serious tour.

After the tour, we drank some free beer in the tasting room.  Talked about how weird Jbox can be, how Dex's son is doing all sorts of cool "firsts" in SD without him,  and just hung out.  Dex went to the gift shop to buy some AB stuff, including a Clydesdale for his son (Stuffed, not real...the horse...not the son). 

Then we headed to one of the bars outside the stadium and had a burger and another beer.  This bar has a freight train that goes right over it and Jon was so amazed he had to get a picture.  We told him stories of how the conducter has been known to stop and have beers thrown up to him before heading out of town.

Finally get to the ballpark and we're touring all of the statues around the outside, including the ugliest statue ever (Stan the Man's weird, landmark statue), one of Jack Buck (Joe's dad) and Ozzie Smith.  Jon decides to put his SD hat on the Ozzie statue and get a quick pic.  Jon and Dex were so nervous that they were going to start some trouble by putting the hat on the statue...but no one seemed to mind.

Once we got in the stadium, we walked around to get some pics and see the different views.  Walked by a Hardee's (midwest name for Carl's Jr.) and settled on a local item for dinner..the Bratzel...a brat wrapped and deep fried with a pretzel. 

Settled into our seats in the bleachers and enjoyed the game, until the Cardinals starter gave up too many runs.  To keep it interesting, my friend and I introduced Jon and Dex to "Dollar Bets". Basically, the more ridiculous the bet, the better.

"Next pitch, homerun...$1"

"I'll take it!"

"The ump will throw the ball to the left side of the pitcher's mound"

"I'll take it!"..."Me too"

Dex thought we were nuts. Jon wanted no part of it...until about three bets in, when he couldn't resist..."I'm IN!"....then Jon went on a run that certainly helped pay for his gas to Denver. 

Dex was still amazed with the bets and the odds presented.  Especially when my friend offered 3-1 odds and Jon said, "I'll take it, but I'll make it 4-1".  Dex's head just about exploded.

Either way, no one lost a ton and it made the game more exciting, as you could predict random events and then cheer/boo when they did or did not occur. 

We ended the night by going to the family area and testing our arm speeds on the radar gun.  Jon hit 58. Dex hit 56 and I capped out at 53. 

On the way home, we were treated to my friend's scientific theory on why certain farts stink and don't stink.  His explanation made no sense and I tried to tell him that if his diet was different, he wouldn't have any problem. He agreed that beer, bratzels and nachos probably weren't helping.

Dex and Jon left STL around 9:45 to head to Denver.  I hope they made it safely and I hope Dex decided against stopping to get a haircut...that would seriously ruin any chances of making 'good time'...although, it would be funny to picture Jon sitting in the waiting room, reading hair cutting magazines while Dex got a trim.

I'll send in pics soon.

Courtesy of TheDirty.com and their report that exposes MLB players and their dirty ways.  Turns out the Giles bros like to drop a lot of cash on drinks and skanks.  Read more at The Dirty  to find out how BG tried to slump bust in March.

The Dirty (some content/ads NSFW):

Brian Giles had pulled out his big bat (AMEX Black Card) to pay for the $12k Bourbon experience.

Brian and Marcus didn’t want to stop the party there. They solicited Chanel St. James and Claudia Valentine to help them shag balls in some extra innings. Add another $10k in the form of a personal check (as pictured) for the off-field activities. They all met back at the hotel where the World Series began.

Found this on Fox's website

From the article:

we covered military opening day with the San Diego Padres and no other professional team goes as far as they do to support our men and women in uniform. While covering the Padres on this occasion and a few others, we became friends with their PR staff’s which include George Stieren and Warren Miller. They just had their colleague Erik Meyer send me the story and video of 11-year-old Brad Warnick, joined on the mound by mother Irene and 8-year-old sister Ashley, who thought they were just representing the USS Midway Museum in San Diego in honor of their fathers service in the Navy. BUT…..dressed in full Padres catching gear behind the plate was Petty Officer 1st Class Rick Warnick, their father & husband. Petty Officer Warnick is part of the crew currently deployed on the USS Nimitz, scheduled to return next month. Warnick was flown home early to surprise his family on the field through cooperative efforts of the USS Midway Museum and the Navy. This video is what it’s all about.

Ever since the whole debacle with Jayson Werth and his family, it seems like Karma has bitten the Padres in the hind quarters.

Meanwhile, Werth has enjoyed a season with an inside the park home run and then last night, he hit three home runs, including a Grand Slam.

Does GLB need to make amends with Werth, so we can cross him off our list and Karma can start getting the Padres some wins?

Or, should GLB just buy a Jayson Werth voodoo doll and start sticking pins in it until karma surrenders?

I just got an email from Jayson Werth's dad.  Here's what it said (typos left in place)

 

Dere Gaslamper,

I was sitting at home watching Baseball Tonight, enjoying the Astros hi-lites and seeing the Padres get trashed tonight by an inferior NL Central team.  What could have made my night better than seeing those hated Padres get slammed?

 

How about Mah BOY getting an Inside the park HOME RUN...that's RIGHT..he Touched em all...without even having to hit it over t he wall. 

Who's laughing now jerkfaces?

Your team relies on 50 year old Edmonds to hit it out 175 fee in Minute Made Park...while my boy is just banking it in the gap and relying on his genetic code to get him around the bases before the other team even knew what happened.

Karma is a son of a ......

 

Mr. Werth

 

This site is providing funny and unique ways to  harass players from specific teams.  The writer is definitely trying for something other than the typical, "You suck" taunt.  He's looking to get under the skin of these players.

The link has more teams than just the Cubs, but I thought I'd start with the Cubs since they are so hated by Gaslamp (and most of the rest of baseball)

http://hecklersprospectus.blogspot.com/2008/02/chicago-cubs.html

My favorites
Pie, Felix - Relate to the young outfielder that the common phrase "easy as pie" comes from his heritage, specifically his mother, who was a slut.

Fukudome, Kosuke - Stay away from the whole "last name looks like f@!# you" nonsense -- there'll be plenty of frat guys in the bleachers going that route -- and instead remind Fukudome of the many, many, many family members he left back in Japan, most of which he'll never see again.

So, here in STL, there's a little morning radio show that a lot of the Cardinal players are friendly with.  Edmonds more so than others, as in the past, he's shirked his workout duties during Spring Training to sit and talk with these guys.  Edmonds is notorious for not working that hard in Spring.

Anyway, he text messages the host of the show yesterday and just says, "Good morning F-Face" and that leads to them getting him on the air today for an interview as he drives to Padres' camp.

He talks about how he misses the Cardinal organization and players, but realizes how much he's missed SoCal and AZ the last 7-8 years.  

The hosts asked Jimmy if there's a "butt-ass bunch of radio guys like them" that sit outside the Padres locker room and do a show, begging each player to sit down. He says that there's not anything like that as far as he knows, but wishes there was (in the past, Jim has allowed the radio show to broadcast from his house during opening day).

I think this is a great opportunity for Gaslamp.  Sit someone outside of the locker room to report...get in good with Edmonds, he's always looking for a distraction...next thing you know, you'll be doing a live blog from his home.

The good news for you Padres fans is that he said he's in great shape because he went thru some SWAT training in the offseason.

Full Audio here, courtesy of InsideSTL and 1380 in St Louis
http://www.insidestl.com/morningafter/index.php?p=775