AUTHOR'S NOTE: I apologize, in advance, to any law-abiding and funny mascots (aka "entertainers") who may be offended by the following personal opinion.  While I have never met you - and personally doubt your existence - I respect your right to strap on a giant furry head and prance around stadiums and / or arenas.  Just please leave me alone.

I have previously stated my very strong opinion about the appearance of mascots at sporting (and other) events.  My personal disdain results from the incessant distraction these creatures generate by their very presence.  I'm not there to see the Ballapeño.  I'm there to watch a ballgame, consume some beverages and snacks and perhaps purchase merchandise from the gift shop.

Part of my frustration stems from the fact that many times you can't tell what it's supposed to be.  

Okay, so you're some sort of bovine, but why are you neon green?

Yes, yes, you're an alien.  I get it - but what's a "51", anyway?

Then, of course, many mascots don't even have the decency to wear pants.  Why put a jersey on if you're going commando down below?  It's senseless.  Senseless, and a mockery of all that is wholesome and pure about sports.

Now I come across this article about how mascots are disrespected in today's society.  If it's that difficult, I say we practice some natural selection and get rid of the species completely.

Who's with me?

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Uncle Tommy was in Las Vegas over the weekend to give a speech during a private fundraising event at the Venetian.  Bill Plaschke from the Los Angeles Times was also there.  He (Mr. Lasorda, that is) was very charming and entertaining.  He dropped this bombshell:  Barry Bonds may have used steroids.  Who knew?!?!

Tommy was available after dinner to meet with and shake the hands of attendees.  As a result of reports regarding Mr. Lasorda's personal hygiene habits, most declined.

Update [2005-11-22 10:22:30 by teemcee]: In related news, Tommy got run from the press box at the UNLV / CSU football game on Saturday. Some people are soooo sensitive.

Intrepid Las Vegas Correspondent signing off...

Your Las Vegas correspondent, teemcee here.  I submit the following report to my fellow Gaslamp Ballers:

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With this being a travel day for my Padres and with me still embittered from yesterday's loss, I thought I'd exercise a little keyboard therapy and share some of the things that are really bothering me lately.  For the purpose of brevity, I'll confine my comments to the realm of sports.  Understand that I'm normally a pleasant, "live and let live" kinda gal.  You gotta work pretty hard to annoy me but once that line is crossed, well...

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