Gaslamp Ball, a San Diego Padres community

"It's crazy," Los Angeles outfielder Tony Gwynn Jr. said the other day in Dodger Stadium. "Three guys who are a part of Padres history at one point or another all get cancer within months of each other.

Ellsbury approached the Red Sox table and congratulated Gonzalez on coming to Boston.

Without missing a beat, Gonzalez smiled, accepted the congratulations -- and then congratulated Ellsbury.

"And my place is going to be open, so if you need a place to stay in San Diego, let me know,"

At his current pace -- and if pitchers remain insane enough to continue throwing within three ZIP codes of the plate -- he will finish with 69.

The way he's going, it appears he also can catch a speeding bullet in his teeth, while taming the lions at the San Diego Zoo in his spare time.

"This is a historic moment: Never before have we asked multiple players to handle one Anti All-Star position. But there simply is no adequate way to put into words a major league team allowing 114 stolen bases in 132 attempts."

"And -- this is key here -- the NL West is taking its dinner out of Alpo cans this summer."