Rumor: Barry Bonds to the Padres

by jbox on Nov 5, 2007 3:14 PM PST in News

Get the La-Z-Boy recliner ready in the Padres clubhouse.

7. Barry Bonds - Padres. I tried hard to make Barry fit on an AL team, and couldn't do it. He's not going to finish his career as DH for the Royals. While the Padres have a decent left field platoon in Scott Hairston and Jason Lane, this would be a Kevin Towers type of move if Bonds would sign for $12MM.

Nice guys finish third. I say we load up this team with a bunch of pricks.

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Well...um....he gets along with Peavy

As a fan, it's hard to like this.

As a baseball move? Yes. It makes sense. As much sense at 12 million as Schilling would (more, probably). Honestly, he comes up to the plate and FIFTY PERCENT OF THE TIME the next thing you see is him standing on base. Are you kidding? Last year: .276/.480/.565.

Bonds is Bonds. Let's start the rationalizations! Here are the mitigating factors:

The home-run circus is over.
We're probably talking 1 yr., not 14. (not enough time, in other words, to have the franchise defined by his presence).
We had Milton Bradley, after all. And look how that worked out---other than his leg being torn off, we had a notorious MLB Red Flag play awesome baseball with no reports of 'clubhouse' problems. Dear God, we had David Wells. Name me an MLB team without spectacular a-holes.
Steroids. Yes. He did them. He probably doesn't do them anymore. Records show he wasn't the first, wasn't the only, and wouldn't be the first Padre to be linked to them. Sad but true.
Hypocrisy: Are we hypocrites if we have to root for him next year? Meh. Probably. But Michael Corleone had this one figured out: "It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business."

I still don't like Barry Bonds. This is the best I can do.

by goose1 on Nov 5, 2007 3:41 PM PST 0 recs

Signing Bonds

is like paying for sex.* Stuff happens, and maybe it's fun for a little while, but afterwards, you just feel kinda gross. And then you start freaking out and wonder if you should go to the doctor. Plus the next day you kinda want all that money back.

But then again...

...if you haven't scored in THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS, maybe it's time to rethink your game strategy and just hire out.

Or you could wait for that perfect moment...even if it doesn't happen for a few more decades. I'm just making conversation.

*I would imagine

by Dalton on Nov 5, 2007 9:13 PM PST up 0 recs

you're completely right

i'm not sure what about. but you're definitely completely right about something.

by goose1 on Nov 5, 2007 10:35 PM PST up 0 recs

this is a creepy time of year

when all sorts of 'additions' to your team get mentioned....and it's like your mom is out dating a bunch of dudes you hate and keeps bringing home grosser and grosser ones.

i don't know how many ways i can express that i never want to see any of these people in padre uniforms:

barry bonds
curt schilling
david 'mc-scrapster' eckstein
coco 'the return of juan pierre' crisp

bonds and schilling would at least help us baseball wise. eckstein and crisp though---ugh.

by goose1 on Nov 5, 2007 10:42 PM PST up 0 recs

1. Agree

Agree
Agree
Agree

Numero uno is now, ignoring personal opinions, a forth OFer at best. The deuce is an old-ass blowhard whose skills have passed him. The other two are overrated to the fullest. Just because Geoff Blum and Milton Bradley carried us for the second half of the 2007 season doesn't mean we're suddenly the harbor for average crackers and awesome names.

by TheThirdGonzalez on Nov 6, 2007 1:39 AM PST up 0 recs

dude, you just wait

If KT doesn't make a move, and Scott Hairston comes CRASHING DOWN TO EARTH IN GLORIOUS FIERY WRECKAGE next year, you'll know where to find me: with a hooker.

by Dalton on Nov 6, 2007 10:26 AM PST up 0 recs

Hairston could be Kouz (or Sledge)

with comparable major league playing time and consistent at-bats. or he could be sledge. you never know. a platoon in left isn't the worst thing in the world when we've got bigger holes at 2nd and Center and in the rotation to fill.

by goose1 on Nov 6, 2007 11:02 AM PST up 0 recs

Which is why he'll be a solid 4th OF

While Bonds plays 120 games, hits 25-30 HRs, walks well over 100 times, and goes .275/.480/.550, all while still finding time to be a gigantic prick. That's talent.

by Dalton on Nov 6, 2007 11:11 AM PST up 0 recs

jbox being at least partly facetious

But seriously, what happened to the Rockies? Let's make a deal with the devil. Jeff Kent at second, anyone???? The UT will do gangbusters for the sports section alone.

by Dalton on Nov 5, 2007 3:59 PM PST 0 recs

puke.

Let's go drink some beer.

by sdsuaztec4 on Nov 5, 2007 4:15 PM PST 0 recs

He also talks about

Freddy Garcia in that article. Is he a prick too?

Let's go drink some beer.

by sdsuaztec4 on Nov 5, 2007 4:26 PM PST up 0 recs

Oh, yeah.

He's a real cee-esser.

by TheThirdGonzalez on Nov 6, 2007 1:55 AM PST up 0 recs

I'd never be...

more conflicted if this ever happened. Seriously, I've made enormous life decisions before and this would trump them all. I hate the thought of having to face this reality, and it's only a rumor.

by California Penal on Nov 5, 2007 4:21 PM PST 0 recs

I would support the team

but I know a lot of people would cancel their season tickets, my parents included.

How do you react if Bonds hits a walk-off to clinch the West?

by Phantom on Nov 5, 2007 4:23 PM PST 0 recs

Schilling and Bonds

Hey, just think, jbox - if we got both, then we would have the two biggest pricks in all of MLB.

by Winfield's Ghost on Nov 5, 2007 4:26 PM PST 0 recs

You and Jbox?

by ABY on Nov 6, 2007 11:23 PM PST up 0 recs

rowr!

Are you talking about their personalities or their personalities?

by Dex on Nov 7, 2007 8:52 AM PST up 0 recs

What the...

...uh...dammit...uh...I have nothing.

by Winfield's Ghost on Nov 9, 2007 3:10 PM PST up 0 recs

Speaking of Trades

I have a great Idea what do you all think?

The Yanks need a 3B badly and the Padres have two good ones, Kouz and Headly. What do you think of letting one of them go for Melky Cabrera to play LF? I think its perfect.

Let's go drink some beer.

by sdsuaztec4 on Nov 5, 2007 7:36 PM PST 0 recs

i'd rather have Cano

by Dalton on Nov 5, 2007 7:43 PM PST up 0 recs

Me too.

But I don't think the Yanks will part with him. Unless, kouz and antonelli for melky and cano. doubt it though.

Let's go drink some beer.

by sdsuaztec4 on Nov 5, 2007 8:28 PM PST up 0 recs

Eff that noise.

Spare me Melky "Ruben Rivera" Cabrera and Robinson Ca"NofugginWay".

by TheThirdGonzalez on Nov 6, 2007 1:41 AM PST up 0 recs

Yah Sure.

Except both of them hit over .300 which is something not one Padre starter managed to do. Cano is a career .314 hitter and hit .342 in '06.

Let's go drink some beer.

by sdsuaztec4 on Nov 6, 2007 1:53 AM PST up 0 recs

God forbid we see

what that translates to in the real league. Sure, he'll be no Marcus, but we'd still get raped for way more bills than the kid's worth.

by TheThirdGonzalez on Nov 6, 2007 1:59 AM PST up 0 recs

Not sure what you're trying to say

But as long as we're talking about trades for NYYoungsters that aren't going to happen, Cano's awesome, and 2B is (of course) still a question mark for us.

And yeah, Melky is overhyped.

by Dalton on Nov 6, 2007 10:16 AM PST up 0 recs

Yep, that's what I was trying to say.

We won't get Cano (without giving up more than he's worth) and why would we want Cabrera... other than the fact that his name is fun to say?

by TheThirdGonzalez on Nov 6, 2007 11:17 AM PST up 0 recs

just dreaming...

Let's go drink some beer.

by sdsuaztec4 on Nov 6, 2007 1:03 PM PST up 0 recs

I don't about Padres management

But I like my soul. It's not for sale.

by SD Chick N on Nov 5, 2007 10:14 PM PST 0 recs

How about this trade?

Towers for Bonds..

j/k :P

by dusty on Nov 6, 2007 4:46 AM PST 0 recs

Seeing Bonds in left would remind me of...

Ryan Klesko in left...and we all know how that went...I'd rather have Russel Branyan in left then Barry big head...I thought we had this conversation last season when Barry was a free agent and how much we DIDN'T want to see him as a Friar....how does it change this off season?

If this goes down, I'll be rooting for the Nashville Sounds...

Since we're talking about the Yanks...Andy Petite anyone? Or is the "no lefties" rule still in effect for the rotation?

...and we're STILL waiting for MATT HOLLIDAY to touch the plate.

by offspeedkills on Nov 7, 2007 4:24 PM PST 0 recs