It's tough to find reasons to keep the faith when your Padres are 9 - 20. Here are 5 that I came up with...

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Who the fcuk is Daniel Robertson?

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After that trade for another quadruple-A middle infielder earlier in the week, I thought for sure Josh Byrnes was getting ready to plug one of the Padres' gaping holes. But I vastly underestimated Byrnes' admiration for washed-up shortstops hitting less than .150.

And we continue to be stuck with Jason Bartlett.

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I don't know who Sarah Trotto is and why she is privy to insider injury news. Maybe she is like the arsonist that sets the fires and calls 911 to report the blaze. Good news is that Huston Street only strained his lat - which is on his back and has nothing to do with shoulders or elbows. Maybe you think he will be back just in time to trade for a home run hitting shortstop prospect or two. I am just happy we have a never ending supply of relief arms to take his place for the next 2+ weeks...oh wait.

Sarah Trotto ‏ @sarahtrotto

#Padres LHP Cory Luebke: MRI showed swelling in elbow, don't know what exactly the injury is, symptoms point to possible ligament damage.

3:00 PM - 5 May 12 via Twitter for iPhone

Sarah Trotto ‏ @sarahtrotto

Huston Street said he'll go on the disabled list with a lat strain. Miles Mikolas is here. #Padres

2:26 PM - 5 May 12 via Twitter for iPhone

As I was browsing Cameron Maybin's twitter, I saw a frightening tweet from early April; a tweet that harkens back to the O-dog's "LIL FELLA" scandal. I pray we are never accused of being lil fellas by Cam. Discuss.

Long season gotta keep grinding! Tired of all these damn clowns that thinks the games easy if it is how come u dnt have a jersey on?

— cameron maybin (@spidermayb24) April 8, 2012

But don't worry, that $5.5 million is guaranteed. You'll get paid the same if you continue losing games for your team or if you just spend the summer hanging out on the beach.

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So in a game thread earlier this week against the Milwaukee Brewers I promised I'd write up a little story, it's not great, but, it's the thought that counts...

Take the jump to hear an overwritten account of my chance encounter with the reigning National League MVP, the Hebrew Hammer, the guy who puts the toss in testosterone... Ryan Joseph Braun.

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Off days are the worst. Especially after a game like last night's, which ranked first on the Padres 2012 Game Rankings. So I was trying to decide how I was going to distract myself from a Padres-baseball-less day/night, and I figured I would see what some of our Padres did to take advantage of their off day.

A lot of Padres spent their day in Camp Pendleton.

Anthony Bass, Yonder Alonso, Andy Parrino, and Kyle Blanks spent their off day suiting up with the marines.

#Padres @YonderalonsoU @AnthonyBass45 Parrino & Blanks w/marines & Maj. Gen. Bailey at Camp Pendleton on their off day twitter.com/Padres/status/…

— San Diego Padres (@Padres) May 3, 2012

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The trade that brought the washed-up shortstop to San Diego never made any sense from the beginning. Remember that Jed Hoyer had been hired as the general manager of the San Diego Padres about a year earlier by promising to mold a team to Petco Park. That was supposed to mean position players with defensive range, a good glove, speed and an ability to hit line drives that did not shoot for Petco's unattainable fences. So of course one of Hoyer's first moves was to bring in an over-the-hill infielder with no range, a fading glove, no speed and a weak bat to man the shortstop position.

That was mistake No. 1.

Mistake No. 2 came the following month when the Padres locked up Jason Bartlett for the next two years with a guarantee to overpay for a third year if he accumulates a ridiculously low number of at-bats.

Mistake No. 3 was not Hoyer's. It was wannabe owner Jeff Moorad's. When Hoyer demanded he be let out of his contract as general manager of the San Diego Padres at the end of the 2011 season so he could take the exact same position with another team, Moorad should've said, "OK, as log as you take both of your mistakes with you." Orlando Hudson being the other mistake.

Instead, Moorad just said, "OK. Best of luck. Thank you for not following the plan you said you would follow before I hired you."

And now mistake No. 4 continues to be made on a daily basis by Hoyer's replacement, Josh Byrnes.

So here's your to-do list for the day, Josh:

1. Put Bartlett on waivers. Get rid of him. He makes way too many errors (five so far). He's batting .164 (pathetic even by San Diego Padres standards). He's history.

2. Call up Everth Cabrera. He's batting .321 for Tucson. He has 11 stolen bases and hasn't been caught stealing once. He leads Tucson regulars with a .367 OB%. He's played four different positions. The other day, in a start in center field, he threw a guy out at the plate and another one out at first base (according to the box score). He's exciting. He's the future.

I realize it must be difficult to cut a guy earning $5.5 million. But by keeping Bartlett on the team, you're only paying him to help the club find new ways to lose. You're only paying him to keep fans away from the park. So think of cutting him the same way Charlie Sheen rationalizes giving money to a prostitute. Just pay him to leave.

Figure we have a fan-post each day to talk shop, smack talk, and nominate best/worst performances.

Dex mentioned we could have awards for team composed of different criteria.

Possibilities:

Best under $2 team.

Best team with $30+ left over

Best ugly team

Best Former Padres Team

Best Facial Hair Team.

Best DUI team.

And so on. We need 75, seventy-five, words for a fan shot. Which is hard on the first post, but we can have a recap of the day before, and then people can declare what types of 'teams" they are going for.

Dex is giving a prize (post he will write with all his passion his heart can summon), on any topic the winner chooses. Maybe in the future we can vote on the best performance of the night before?