Padres Barely Lose 6-12

Norm Hall

The Friars were leaking runs today; and no amount of Tommy Medica-tion was going to heal the venomous attacks from the Diamondbacks.

It was a bloodbath. A total of 18 runs scored today, 12 from the bad guys. Eight of them scored in the first inning, in what could only be described as "icky". Tim Stauffer lasted 0.1 entire innings, and was lit up for 7 earned runs. It was an ambush, and no amount of offense was going to bring us back. The horror, the horror.

We tried, though. Our Padres who signed the petition to give the fans a super awesome comeback victory were:

If you were still sober after the top of the first, you came really close to being conscious to witness the first cycle in Padres history ever ever. Today Tommy "TomToms" Medica had a triple in the 4th, a double in the 5th, and a home run in the 8th. He was just short a single, which instead ended up being a fielding error from Martin Prado in the 2nd inning.

The Diamondbacks were caught cheating red-handed in the 3rd inning. Despite a 10 run lead, they pulled the ol' "bird interference" trick to psyche out Seth Smith. It worked, and I've been googling for the past few hours now and trying to find out if we're going to contest the game today. I'm convinced this was what prevented us from taking back the lead.

The Diamondbacks are 4-6 against the Padres this season without needing to use classless tactics. Why now? Fear?

Very mature.

Regardless, today the Padres were hitting fine. Compared to the 11-strikeout somehow-win we had yesterday, both Medica and Cameron Maybin had multiple hits including a triple each. Two other Padres had multiple hits. Donn Roach and Alex Torres picked up Stauffer's slack pretty well. Troy Patton came in for his second appearance in an SD uniform, and did okay despite the whole "two-run home run" thing.

The first inning that fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down is what sealed the deal today. Subtract whatever the heck kind of performance that was from Stauff, and you've basically got a Padres win (and a series win). I'm going to pretend that's what happened. Starting now.

Just like Stauffer; roll call ain't working tonight. So here's another gif of that bird.


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