With Edinson Volquez pitching tonight in Denver, I'm just going to change the subject mid-sentence and see if anyone is actually reading this. I get the sneaking suspicion that most so-called readers just dive right into the comments and never actually take the time to read what we've written up above this game preview widget. If you're participating in the thread today and this was the one day that you were curious enough to browse my writings, then do the following: Just casually and slyly mention the word "trampoline" in one of your comments. If you see others mentioning it, recommend their comment. With any luck there will be a few green comments and even more confused Gaslamp Ballers trying to figure what this is all about. So in conclusion, the Padres are pretty much guaranteed a win tonight, for the reasons I just stated so eloquently.