FanPost

A Public Service Announcement

Anchorman came out in 2004. For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that's 9 years ago. Since then, the Red Sox have won two world series, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, and Kim Jong Il have all died, smartphones have become commonplace, Facebook and Twitter launched, and a black man became president. The world has changed.

So when you say "Stay classy, San Diego" or "Whale's Vagina", you're not being funny. You're not being clever. You're certainly not being original. You're not even being cool and showing your pop culture knowledge, because you're just quoting a 9 year old movie. You need to pick some deeper cuts and make it your own if you're going to look like anything other than a tool. Allow me to demonstrate.

  • Matt Kemp is like the T-Rex from The Lost World: Big mouth, can't punch.
  • Matt Kemp wasn't trying to harass Quentin in the parking lot. He just wanted to meet Stillwater.
  • Quentin threw the first punch, but Greinke was in the Danger Zone. (This one gets bonus points if you say "Danger Zone" in Archer's voice.)
  • [Photo of Hairston with a caption reading "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!"]
  • Basically any reference to Fast Times at Ridgemont High or Terriers.
So go forth, joke, and don't be like the Dodgers Twitter account.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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