Quiz: 2013 Padres Opening Day Roster

Thearon W. Henderson

This will be one of the easiest quizzes that you, the devoted Padres fan, will take. All you have to do is flip your mental calendar back six pages and you'll be good to go. The roster hasn't changed all that much since then so if you even get the guys who are still around you'll be pissing in tall cotton, whatever that means. Well, I know what it means, I just don't know why it means that or how it caught on. You see, it's something that dumb hilljacks around these parts say to mean that someone is doing well. My best guess is that it means one is so well off that they can afford to urinate on their cash crop. It's a stupid phrase and the only reason I brought it up was because I heard some one-tooth-wonder chortle it out yesterday and felt it merited ridicule.

Now that that's out of the way, on to the important stuff. Well, relatively important; this quiz isn't going to cure cancer but it might jack your self esteem up a few notches after you ace it. That's something, right?

I listed the players with the positions they were slated to play at that point. There might be a guy or two that makes you think "Hey, he's not an infielder; he played way more outfield" or the same thing with someone better known as a starter being noted as a reliever, but that's what they were then. Things change. I didn't list uniform numbers because I thought that would make it way too simple and it's easy enough as it is now. You get six minutes to guess all 25 players; I originally set the timer for five minutes but then I felt charitable and gave you an extra one because time is the greatest gift of all.

Okay, I'm gonna shut up now and let you do your thing. Don't forget to answer the poll when you're done and use spoiler bars where applicable in your comments.

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