No new HOFers for 2013. Too muscular.

Brett Davis-US PRESSWIRE

For the first time since 1996, nobody new was elected to the Hall of Fame, which is surprising because there were a sh_t ton of dudes probably should've got into the Hall of Fame.

The vote is out and the BBWAA have decided that 3,000 hits no longer means sh_t. Hitting the most home runs ever means less than shit. Being in the top 10 for career wins means jack sh_t. Being the best offensive player in the history of your position amounts to a bucket of sh_t.

So all of those baseball players that we were watching in the 90's and early 2000's amount to just about nothing. Worthless. They've rewritten the unwritten rules for what gets you into the Hall of Fame. That movie, Mr. 3000, is now built on a false premise.

Jose Canseco is somewhere, laughing maniacally.

Of all of the guys that didn't get in, my guess is that Craig Biggio has the best chance to eventually make it. Not just because he was the leading vote getter this time around, but also because he's not as big as the other guys who didn't make it.

Physically.

It's a disturbing observation, but that's my conclusion.

All across America, male Generation X'ers are hearing that their favorite baseball players growing up are worthless and are staring at their collection of Image Comics from the 90's, their boxes of Upper Deck/Fleer/Donruss/Topps/Bowman cards from when they were kids, and are listening to grunge music again, realizing that their favorite musicians were right and it was all just a bunch of commercial bullsh_t, amounting to nothing.

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