Yasmani Grandal's juicing regimen revealed

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Do you want to be like Yasmani Grandal? Here's the cookbook.

The Miami NewTimes News has a lengthy article about the Balco of Florida, Anthony Bosch's Anti-Aging Clinic. Among the star athletes (mostly from the University of Miami) that he treated, our very own Yasmani Grandal is included in the list. You either hate Yasmani now or you've forgiven him or maybe you've Meh'd the whole affair, but however you land, it's fascinating what people will do to get an edge.

"Deliver April 4 (in person or by mail). He is in Tucson. Waiting for his call to see if he can drive to Phoenix. Payment will be made by his [illegible], $500 of expenses."

Anthony Bosch apparently kept extensive notes about all of his patients and Yasmani is featured regularly. Grandal is actually referred to as "Josmany" in the notes just in case you were clinging to any shred of hope that Grandal is actually innocent.

In his notebook, Bosch says of Grandal: "Deliver April 4 (in person or by mail). He is in Tucson. Waiting for his call to see if he can drive to Phoenix. Payment will be made by his [illegible], $500 of expenses."

(Tucson is about three hours from the Padres' spring training complex in Peoria, Arizona, where the team would have been holed up at the time.)

On another page, beneath a phone number for "Josmany's girlfriend," is a lengthy regimen for morning and evening HGH injections, for "six days on and one day off," with testosterone and IGF-1 treatments as well. "Pink cream prior to game," he writes, later adding a troche with 15 to 20 percent testosterone "prior to game."

So Yasmani was taking HGH, testosterone and pink cream just about every day, except the one day a week, which I assume was akin to his cheat day when he was allowed to eat donuts and stuff. He was also taking IGF-1, or Insulin-like growth factor 1, which, besides being an anabolic, is used to treat diabetes, regrow severe burns and to literally make dwarves grow bigger.

Given this bit of news, I'd say being "disappointed" that he got caught is a bit of an understatement. Reads to me like it was just a matter of time before he grew an extra arm while shagging balls. It's more of a surprise to me that the wooden bats he touched didn't grow into living trees from direct contact with his chemically supercharged skin. He probably had to take counter-injections to keep from transforming into some gigantic pink opposite-dwarf monster at night.

Interesting interesting stuff. Parents with children should probably stay clear during autograph sessions. One whiff of Yasmani's inhuman pheromones would likely trigger puberty.

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