First mail at new place
You know it's some baseball cards
Yep, and they're from Sam
Oh, cool, check it out
Four Pads from the Update set
How's that for a start?
Million dollar arm
Thirty-seven cents of brain
That was a bit harsh
Seems like a nice dude
A heck of a pitcher too
You should follow him
Oh, great, it's this guy
Our big offseason signing
At least to this point
He didn't do much
Parts of two seasons then gone
Give this man a job
Seven other cards
I'll write haikus for those too
Here we go again
Playing baseball drunk
Smoking meth now and again
Yep, that's Mike Cameron
Was good; glad he's gone
We got Alexi for him
That throwback's dope, though
Who the fcuk is he?
You know the answer to that
Saved a fake no-no
We got him for Kouz
Was traded for Cory Burns
Smooth like chocolate milk
Studwick or Dudwick?
He was judged each time at bat
Left and blamed Petco
America's cool
But that jersey looks like ass
Friggin' overkill
Oh, shit, that card's gold
I have the regular one
Hey, it's numbered too
Dear Gaslamp Ballers
Thanks for reading this. Love, Joe
P.S.: jodes says "Hi!"