The Padres are about to be sold.. For real for real this time... Srsly

So if you believe the "news", then the Padres are in an "agreement" (which only means that two people have said "yes" at the same time) to be "bought" by Peter O'Malley, Ron Fowler and Phil Mickelson (but in all probability by a conglomerate of investors both foreign and domestic to be represented by the three men in an effort to make it seem like a "baseball" person, a successful businessman, and a "local" celebrity will be running the club, when in actuality all said figureheads just enjoy fame and, just as likely as not, could use said fame and fortune to attract the eyes of young women who will woo them away from their wives).

The purchase price of $800 million has supposedly been agreed upon and will be put to a vote at an owner's meeting today August 16th (read: "meeting of rich white men and one Mexican-American representing invisible groups that wield billions of dollars). The Padres need 75% of the vote to ensure that John Moores successfully capitalizes on the downfall of Jeff Moorad and Moorad's success at garnering an extra $400 million over the last 3 years in the value of the club, at the expense of his own reputation and that of Time Warner Cable customers who are still unable to watch Padres games on television.

Also, in unrelated news, a group of pigs was seen flying over Santee among a flock of formerly domesticated Amazon parrots and religious leaders across the world have all met to agree that their respective versions of the afterlife that is assigned to evil people and non-believers has recently frozen over.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Gaslamp Ball

You must be a member of Gaslamp Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gaslamp Ball. You should read them.

Join Gaslamp Ball

You must be a member of Gaslamp Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gaslamp Ball. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker