Now we're never gonna get rid of this dude. From MLB.com, Chase Headley has won his first Player of the Week award:
In six games last week, Headley hit .333 (8-for-24), leading the N.L. with 11 RBI and tying for the league lead with three home runs. His .750 slugging percentage ranked third among N.L. batters and his 18 total bases and six runs scored were tied for third.
Those three home runs came in three consecutive at bats and the first two came in a game that needed both to win the game.
Outside of baseball, last Thursday there was a four alarm fire in El Cajon that engulfed a pet shop. Chase Headley heard about this and, while breastfeeding orphans on both of his nipples, rescued all of the puppies and kitties and freed the various birds. He did let the fish boil and the bunnies fry, but later used the charred flesh to feed homeless people.