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Cole Hamels is not a douche. I'm sorry. I mean he is a douche.

On the appeal of playing for the Dodgers: "It’s going home, I mean, that’s pretty much it. I know the West Coast really well. I pitch really well on the west coast. I think it’s appealing to every player when they’re growing up that, one day, hoping they can play in the major leagues, it’s always to play for your home team. Even though the Padres were obviously the home team I grew up with, the Dodgers were kind of there neck and neck, so I think that’s the closest home team I would ever get to."

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