With the acquisition of Jeff Suppan and Jason Marquis the padres are only a Chris Carpenter, Mark Mulder, and Jeff Weaver away from completing their secret 2006 Cardinals World Series Rotation which swept them out of the rotation in the divisional series that same season. No word on whether or not the padres also intend to aquire 2nd baseman Ronnie Belliard as a part of the plan. But one Padres official who chose to remain anonymous is quoted when asked about Belliard as saying "who?". Its only a matter of time until the remaining pieces fall into place. With the plan to use baseball ninjas to injure Chris Carpenters's shoulder to make him more trade-able a success. The padres only need to recover from the somewhat embarrassing mistake of waiting outside angels stadium and accidentally kidnapping the wrong weaver (sorry Jared).

The Padres eagerly await the completion of their plan and the release of their new updated slogan. "Padres 2012! now totally impossible to lose to the 2006 Cardinals again! : Remember when we made the playoffs in 2006? That was pretty sweet."