Padres 2012 Game Rankings: If we're gonna lose, at least make it interesting to watch

When you have a lot of testosterone, your eyes get scary. Mandatory Credit: Christopher Hanewinckel-US PRESSWIRE

OK. So I'm going to explain myself.

First, the game on Sunday against the Giants. I dubbed it Snorefest 2. Here are the Padres. They go into a rubber match. They don't give Anthony Bass any support in the second game of the series where he goes 5 2/3 perfect, but we only lose 2-1. Combined with the win on the first day, I wouldn't have been surprised if people were looking forward to Sunday. But then a crazy Snorefest disease hit all of San Diego and like literally nothing happened on Sunday and we lost. So that game ends up pretty low in the rankings.

That takes us to the Ryan Braun game where he completely devastated things. Three home runs and a triple. Now I ranked that game pretty high actually and it ends up just behind the Anthony Bass perfect through 5 2/3 game in the standings at 13th, or put another way our 5th "best" loss of the season.

It's not like the Padres had a shot in that game what with Ryan Braun going all Drew Barrymore in Firestarter on us. But at the same time, if I look at these rankings at the end of the year and say, "What games entertained me?" Well, that was a pretty entertaining game. This is what happens when you've resigned to defeat.

Sure, I was mildly annoyed that the Padres couldn't get a ball past him or at least pitch around him, but at the same time, part of me was really hoping to see a 4th home run. And even when he didn't get the 4th home run, when he just "settled" for a triple, even that was pretty impressive. Like I whistled and stuff. I'd definitely rewatch that game before reliving a game like say Dale Scott or one of the Snorefests or the F_CK CHARITY game. Like if we're not going to have a shot at winning a game, I want to at least see something happen. If we had a shot at that game, I'd be more upset I think.

The May 1 game settles in at #5, just in front of Denorfia Bomb and Nick Hundley 444.


  1. April 21st, 2012 - Padres 5, Phillies 1 - Win #4, Luebke lights 'em up and smokes 'em out
  2. April 22nd, 2012 - Padres 6, Phillies 1 - Win #5, The Padres finally don't lose a series
  3. April 8th, 2012 - Padres 8, Dodgers 4 - Win #1, Easter Sunday
  4. April 27th, 2012 - Padres 5, Giants 3 - Nick Hundley goes 444
  5. May 1, 2012 - Padres 2, Brewers 0 - Mark Kotsay pinch hit bomb
  6. April 11th, 2012 - Padres 2, Diamondbacks 1 - Win #2, Denorfia bomb
  7. April 26th, 2012 - Padres 2, Nationals 1 - Edinson Volquez settles in
  8. April 16th, 2012 - Padres 7, Rockies 1 - Win #3, 7 Doublefest
  9. April 13th, 2012 - Padres 8, Dodgers 9 - The Aaron Harang Nightmare
  10. April 18th, 2012 - Padres 4, Rockies 8 - Rubber Game #2 and/or Chase Headley 2HR
  11. April 19th, 2012 - Padres 0, Phillies 2 - Joe Wieland gets no run support #1
  12. April 28th, 2012 - Padres 1, Giants 2 - Anthony Bass Perfect through 5 2/3 and loses the game
  13. April 30th, 2012 - Padres 3, Brewers 8 - Ryan Braun rapes the horses and rides off on the women
  14. April 24th, 2012 - Padres 1, Nationals 3 - Clayton Richard gets no run support #1
  15. April 25th, 2012 - Padres 2, Nationals 7 - Joe Wieland gets no run support #2
  16. April 17th, 2012 - Padres 3, Rockies 5 - The Jamie Moyer Nightmare
  17. April 12th, 2012 - Padres 1, Diamondbacks 3 - Rubber Game #1 and/or Ian Kennedy
  18. April 10th, 2012 - Padres 2, Diamondbacks 4 - Extra Innings #2
  19. April 7th, 2012 - Padres 5, Dodgers 6 - Extra Innings #1
  20. April 14th, 2012 - Padres 1, Dodgers 6 - Joe Wieland's debut and/or Snorefest
  21. April 29th, 2012 - Padres 1, Giants 4 - Snorefest 2
  22. April 5th, 2012 - Padres 3, Dodgers 5 - Opening Day
  23. April 6th, 2012 - Padres 0, Dodgers 6 - Tony Gwynn Opening Day
  24. April 15th, 2012 - Padres 4, Dodgers 5 - Dale Scott Triple Play
  25. April 20th, 2012 - Padres 1, Phillies 4 - F_CK CHARITY.
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