"I heard you ain't impressed by me, Jodes. Maybe sexy stare plus flipped up flip down sunglasses will do the trick. No? What about stray hairs in my recently pubescent beard? How about that?"
And today is the day we've all been waiting for.
If you have Time Warner or on AT&T U-Verse, you probably did not realize that today is the first day of baseball, or as I like to call it, "The National Holiday That Should Replace Columbus Day".
Our first game of the season. Our first Must Win Game of the season.
That's right. We have to win the game today.
Here's my reasoning:
- We hate the Dodgers
- Magic Johnson might be at the game tonight. We must win tonight to break his spirit.
- If we don't win tonight, then our odds of winning tomorrow night become something or another.
- If Edinson Volquez can beat Clayton Kershaw tonight, then it justifies Jodes voting Kershaw like 5th in last year's SB Nation Baseball Awards voting. We got a sh_t ton of grief over that.
- We need to win for Moorad or Moores or Mark Cuban or something. Troy Aikman. We need to win for Troy Aikman.