FanPost

OPENING DAY 2012

Gaslamp Ball readers,

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It's time. It's time to start this season. It's time to do a lot of clicking and typing letters that form words and making that comment section your slave with poignant and generally high-quality comments. Just slap that comment section real hard and say "You belong to me, slave. You're gonna build pyramids for me." There are no more Spring Training threads, with which admirablest poster jodes0405 has been setting the tone for the season... admirably. The real life. Actual factual. Season. Starts today. This day. Right here and now. This is a fanpost about posting. Let's sort it.

Thank you for making it past the jump. I know it can be hard at times to commit to clicking "Read more", especially with what you've seen so far.

New users, hey. hi. what's up. Let's chat. Go ahead and give your email address to sbnation. It's cool. They're not gonna use it for anything nefarious, like that time your sketchy uncle forwarded all those racist chain letters to your work email address. Make an account. Get all registered up. Post some comments. Interact over the world's widest web. It'll be neat, I swear. Let's talk Padres. Maybe comment here in this thread. It's a safe zone. Say "hi." (I'm not telling you what to post, you decide that for yourself.) Introduce yourself, but don't give us TMI. Tell me who your favorite current Padre is.

Old users, hey. hi. what's up. You've been here. You know what's up. Carry on. Don't do the bad things like making bad comments, saying illegal swears, or posting ugly boobs especially from men that are the color of catcher's mitts... and do do the good things like stokin' that care-boner and/or flickin' that care-bean. Do like you do. Also, post lots of TMI. Tell me who your favorite purrent Cadre is.

Intermediate users (aka lurkers), hey. hi. what's up. I'm not comfortable with what you are doing, so if you could show yourself at some point this season, I'd like that. You don't have to do it here, but it would be a good place to do so. It's also a safe zone for you. Maybe next year we'll be talking about your TMI. Tell me who your pavorite furrent Cadre is.

Thank you for reading. Have a good season. And be good to everyone. (except Sam).

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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