Fan Happiness Project Resolutions for April: Root passionately for no logical reason

I like Big Ern because he's The Human Drum Machine. I like Chris Denorfia because he's a clutchy gamer.

So I didn't get a bunch of resolutions out in March, but here's what I got for April. We should root passionately for no logical reason. What does logic get you? It gets you the heart of a robot. We are not robots though. We are Padres fans. If there's one thing we should be good at, it's rooting for a team without any clear understanding of why.

So let's embrace that, shall we?

Resolutions after the jump...

Here are my own resolutions. Feel free to make up your own:

  • Continue being a Padres Fan
  • Discuss the players without referencing true logic like on FanGraphs, Baseball Prospectus, etc
  • Appreciate the small sample size stuff ("At this pace, Cameron Maybin will hit 60 home runs!")
  • Pick a favorite player using the logic of a 6 year old ("I like him because his hair is brown and so is mine", "I like him because he’s fat/skinny/ugly/bald/hairy like my dad", "I like him because he does those commercials for Corky’s")
  • Pick another favorite player using the logic of a horny groupie ("Chiseled jaw", "Sexy butt", "Snuggly bear", "Super rich")
  • Root for your favorite player(s) like they’re your own children

This should be an easy month, right?

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Gaslamp Ball

You must be a member of Gaslamp Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gaslamp Ball. You should read them.

Join Gaslamp Ball

You must be a member of Gaslamp Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gaslamp Ball. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker