FanPost

Spring Training with The O-Man

This obviously won't be as good as Nater Tater's writeup or anyone elses, but I do have some pictures to share. It was one of my more memorable ST trips. There's diarrhea, 22 inch wieners, chumlee, and hunger games involved. READ ON!

Well, it all started on Friday morning (3/23/12). I had told my coworker that I would arrive to his house promptly at 8am to begin the drive. I told him I'd drive off without him if he wasn't ready. I've made similar threats tons of times. It's never worked. So I arrived exactly when I said I would but I was greeted by his mom at the door. Turns out the little bastard got food poisoning the night before and he needed his mommy to take care of him. Likely just God's way of sticking it to him for being a dirty dirty dodger fan. Not a good start to the weekend. A 5 hour drive with a guy who is likely to poop himself at any minute. Great.

Somehow we made it though, and without all that many extra stops on the way. Now, the game Friday was a night game, but there was some business I wanted to take care of in the afternoon. That business.....was a 22 inch hotdog. Yes, our first stop was Alice Cooper'stown in downtown Phoenix. This dog has been featured on Man V. Food. Although, I must admit the Man V. Food version had a whole lot more toppings than mine. I kept it simple and classy with just the relish and mustard.

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Well, turns out the thing isn't just huge, it's delicious too. An all beef dog grilled to perfection. I was worried the bun (actually a baguette) would be too hard, but it was just right. Anyways, I slid all 22 inches easily down my throat.

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I must point out how awesome my shirt is. It's a picture of Mac from Always Sunny looking like the Vitruvian Man. The text says "It's not fat, I'm cultivating mass". And cultivate mass is just what I did.

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So after breakfast/lunch/dinner/the only meal I ate that day, we had some time before the game. Went and saw Hunger Games in the theater. It was pretty good actually. The chick who plays Cat Nip is pretty hot.

The game went well. MY San Diego Padres beat the reds 5-2. Got some awesome seats right behind home plate. Even got to be on TV for a few seconds. I like to wear a goofy straw hat to spring training games since I know I'll be on TV.

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After the game I was staring at Leila Rahimi cause she's just so darn pretty. And short. I like short girls. In fact, here she is talking with a player about how short she is (Cashner? Chris Denorfia).

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When she was done doing what she does I was able to get a picture with her. She's really nice. And pretty. And short. I stood on a lower step so I wouldn't tower above her.

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The second day we went out to the practice fields for a bit. Wasn't really feeling it this year. It was pretty hot. Also I was getting aggravated because during stretches Orlando Hudson would just talk and talk and talk. Something about him just bothers me. Too much talk, not enough rock.

Day game was hot so instead of sitting in our assigned seats behind home plate we sat over in the shade. Darklighter was sitting somewhere around our assigned seats, but in his words I was too much of a "wuss" to go in the sunlight. YOUR San Diego Padres lost this one to the reds 0-6.

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After the padres game we took in a game at the new park in Scottsdale for the Rockies and D-Bags. D-Bags were playing the Royals. I was cheering for the Royals until I realized Jonathon Sanchez was pitching. I then started cheering for aliens to come down and give all the players on the field the same diarrhea my coworker was suffering from. It was an okay park. Looks exactly like Camelback Ranch though. It's too big for my tastes.

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Sunday morning we went to another movie instead of sitting out in the sun at practice like the day before. We saw 21 Jump Street which was surprisingly really good.

As with the previous days game, we skipped our assigned seats for some shade. At some point Everth Cabrera hit a foul ball that was close to smashing me in the face. It smashed my hand instead. The security people gave me an icepack for the hand. Unfortunately, due to my near-death experience, I was in a state of shock and didn't even get the ball. Some kid got the ball though, so that's good. MY San Diego Padres beat the D-Bags 4-3 that afternoon.

Here is a picture that is disturbingly similar to a picture that Nater Tater has.

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This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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