The hot stove is an exciting time in baseball, where anything can happen! Of course, you know, if you're a Padre fan and the majority of your free agent signings are bench players, down-on-their-luck pitchers, and former All-Stars approaching 40. That seems to be the plight of the Friar faithful, or at least it has been in recent memory---with one exception being Mark Loretta, who ended up being a pretty kick-ass free agent signing. However, we do pull off some pretty intriguing trades. Some work out (Gonzalez, Young, and Sledge for Eaton, Otsuka, and Killian), some don't (Loretta for Mirabelli).

Let's forget that first paragraph because it's boring, depressing, and irrelevant to this post. Instead, I propose a thought experiment of fandom and futility---fan-tility, if you like. Let's pick any and all free agents and assemble the most kick-ass Padre roster you can imagine. It can be anyone, like Josh Hamilton or Zach Greinke! Get your ass some Greinke on your team!

You know, anyone except Dan Haren---he was signed by the Natinals.

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Let the games begin!