Open Thread: Best guacamole recipe?

by Dex on Jan 13, 2012 12:00 AM PST

As we continue Mentor's request to help him feed people at Petco Park with various delicious foods, we come to a bullet point that's probably not very controversial... Guacamole.

There's really no arguing this point. If you don't like guacamole, there's no sense in you telling everybody you don't like guacamole, and if you like guacamole, then you know that there is very little in terms of variation to get a good guacamole.

In fact, the only guacamole that I can think of that's unique in a good way is probably La Puerta's guacamole downtown. Otherwise, guacamole is easy:

Cook Time: 5 minutes

Get some slightly overripe avocados
Mash those f_ckers up
Squeeze a bit of lime in there
Add diced tomatoes/onions/garlic/pepper in TRACE amounts. You're not making salsa, bro.
Salt to taste

No you absolutely do NOT add sour cream. Plenty of legit Mexican food places will add sour cream just to make their avocados last longer, but we're talking the best recipe, which leaves sour cream in a tub in the fridge. If you must have sour cream, you may have it, but put it to the side of your guacamole. Contrary to popular belief, you can add a little bit of cheese to your guacamole. I once lost a guacamole contest because I added cheese to switch up my guacamole and got made fun of for it, but those same people claim to love La Puerta's guacamole, which features cheese. So in the end, I was right.

Is there any place that does an especially good guacamole? This is really not hard to do right... like the taco.

I remember a Mexican restaurant in Charlotte that was actually pretty good. We asked for guacamole, nervous that they would bring us a bowl of green queso, and instead, our server walked up with two avocados, mashed those suckers up and added juuuust the right amounts of everything. Seriously Benihana'd us a great bowl of guacamole. Put some warm, salted tortilla chips in front of us and we were in heaven. Oh man... Such good guacamole.

So have at it. Critique my recipe, but know that guacamole is arithmetic. There's no room for guesswork if you're looking to get the right answer.

Tweet Comment 53 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

I'm a Good Eats guy

I make Alton’s all the time, but I leave out the tomatoes.

3 Haas avocados, halved, seeded and peeled
1 lime, juiced
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 medium onion, diced
2 Roma tomatoes, seeded and diced
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro
1 clove garlic, minced

Perfect

by Frozen_Pizza on Jan 13, 2012 12:08 AM PST reply actions 1 recs

mmmmm, this sounds great

If I pick it, I flick it

by Duke Street Kings on Jan 13, 2012 5:54 AM PST up reply actions

Rec'd for the 1/2 teaspoon of cumin

Most important ingredient that everyone seems to leave out.

For a real easy recipe and if you have no time:

1. 2 avacados mashed up
2. a pinch of cumin
3. pinch of salt
4. two tblspoons Pico De Gallo

Not as fancy, but if you have a party to start in 5 minutes then this is your recipe.

"Well, he ought to go home and find somebody else to bang." Jerry Coleman

by cubbuster on Jan 13, 2012 9:25 AM PST up reply actions

I make mine kinda the same way you do.

But I don’t mash the f_ckers up TOO much. And I put cilantro (sometimes) and a sh_t ton of lime because I love lime. And if I’m making it just for myself, I’ll dice some fresh jalapeno reeeeaaaallll tiny and mix it in because I like that sh_t spicy.

No pants. No problem.

jbox likes it when the D hangs low.

by jodes0405 on Jan 13, 2012 3:48 AM PST reply actions

Btw, I made some yesterday because that first food thread and all the guacamole- and avocado-haters made me want it.

No pants. No problem.

jbox likes it when the D hangs low.

by jodes0405 on Jan 13, 2012 3:49 AM PST up reply actions

Everything she just said.

But when I dice my tomatoes up (super fine-like), I put them in a couple of paper towels to blot out the excess juice so the final product doesn’t get all runny.

www.FriarsOnCardboard.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev

by TheThinGwynn on Jan 13, 2012 4:17 AM PST up reply actions

Cilantro is best. But usually sprinkle on leaves after taco is complete because it looks pretty as garnish too.

Lime in copious ammount.

Well played girl.

by soulSD on Jan 13, 2012 11:14 AM PST up reply actions

Same exact thing

Bolts from the Blue - Destroying your opinions with facts.

Richard Wade - "I feel like me from four years ago would punch present me in the face. I like to think that's because I've grown as a person."

by John Gennaro on Jan 13, 2012 12:06 PM PST up reply actions

I don't like Guacamole much. So I make my own frequently.

3-5 Avacados perfectly ripe, Sliced into cubes.
2 Roma Sized Tomatoes cubed and seeded
4 sprigs of cilantro
1 Juice of lime
Salt
Pepper

I like to add 1 chopped jalapeno, and if I am feeling frisky, 1 chopped chipotle.

Mix with hands real gently to preserve the texture of the cubed avacados.

Result: chunky guacamole with a salty zing with a refreshing cilantro finish. Perfect with some chips.

Padres Fan.

by MrDanielX on Jan 13, 2012 7:44 AM PST reply actions

Avacados are the devils fruit

As are tomatoes.

Please don’t ban me.

by EnglishChris on Jan 13, 2012 8:03 AM PST reply actions

I think we should give him a break

He is British, all they like their is Cheese and Radishes. #WallaceAndGromited

Padres Fan.

by MrDanielX on Jan 13, 2012 8:08 AM PST up reply actions

*there

Padres Fan.

by MrDanielX on Jan 13, 2012 8:08 AM PST up reply actions

Not even the occasional boiled tomato?

Mooshed onto burnt toast with baked beans on the side? That’s not appetizing?

by Dex on Jan 13, 2012 11:22 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs

Cooked tomatoes are OK

raw ones I think it’s a texture thing

by EnglishChris on Jan 13, 2012 7:52 PM PST up reply actions

1 Habanero pepper
1 yellow pepper
1 red jalapeno pepper
1//2 yellow onion
1 bunch green onions
1/2 bunch cilantro
4 roma tomatoes
3 heirloom tomatoes

Puree the Heirloom tomatoes with the peppers
Chop the onions, cilantro and roma tomatoes
Combine —If too dry or too hot add one more Heirloom tomato

Mix 30/70 with mashed up avocados / squeeze in a little lemon / add salt

by field39 on Jan 13, 2012 8:25 AM PST reply actions

Sounds like my kind of guacamole

Although I don’t know about the green onions

by Antonio Olivares on Jan 13, 2012 12:52 PM PST up reply actions

it's a secret

"...and never forget that until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,-Wait and hope."

by derntootin on Jan 13, 2012 8:33 AM PST reply actions

Pepper

plenty of pepper, and different types. You know what I’m talking about Dex!

"I'M NOT GOING TO ASK HIM FOR F_CKING TICKETS, DEX. I DON'T NEED A DEAL ON A F_CKING LUXURY SUITE." - Mike

by Jonny Dub on Jan 13, 2012 8:51 AM PST reply actions

So gross

by Dex on Jan 13, 2012 8:58 AM PST up reply actions

Dude

You even put a ton of pepper your home brew.

by jbox on Jan 13, 2012 12:10 PM PST up reply actions

Guac Contest

Years ago, down at the beach we had a Guac contest. People voted, including those just passing by. Guess who won? Pepper Baby!

"I'M NOT GOING TO ASK HIM FOR F_CKING TICKETS, DEX. I DON'T NEED A DEAL ON A F_CKING LUXURY SUITE." - Mike

by Jonny Dub on Jan 13, 2012 1:47 PM PST up reply actions

No goddamn tomato or onion. That crap is filler.

Some microplaned garlic (if there are chunks of garlic, you’re doing it wrong), finely minced jalapeno, cilantro, salt, lime juice. But if your guacamole is less than 95% avocado, you have done it wrong. Also, it should be chunky! If you randomly shove a fork into the bowl, you should pull out a chunk of avocado. Otherwise, you have made avocado dip.

by Darklighter on Jan 13, 2012 9:26 AM PST reply actions

I think "lumpy" is a better adjective for how I like mine

by kevintheoman on Jan 13, 2012 10:13 AM PST up reply actions

My wife's is pretty much the best

I won’t give out all her secrets but for straight Guac and Chips she adds some grated cheddar in there. When she takes it to a party and there are other guacs there, her bowl is always eaten first.

by fairweather on Jan 13, 2012 12:24 PM PST reply actions

This sounds worse than it is

But that’s who I learned the cheese thing from.

by Dex on Jan 13, 2012 2:10 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs

" her bowl is always eaten first"

I’ve heard about those kind of parties…

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

by Hormel on Jan 13, 2012 2:18 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

I am a guacamole slut

Because I think I would love all of your guacamole recipes. I’d even eat the stuff with sour cream in it, because that’s how my mom did it when I was a kid. Pretty much all I require is mass quantity of avocado. It’s really hard to mess up guac.

Don’t talk to me about mayonnaise, though. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten guac with mayo in it, but just knowing it exists on this planet makes me uneasy.

by scout1222 on Jan 13, 2012 1:19 PM PST reply actions

I dont think you can be a guacamole slut...too many people love it.

That’s like saying you like sex. It’s only the weirdos who don’t like it.

"The Transplant" (So. Cal boy stuck in NYC)

by BryanHarvey'sMoustache on Jan 14, 2012 9:22 AM PST up reply actions

How is this stupidity not a fanshot

by Nardfather on Jan 13, 2012 2:09 PM PST reply actions

It got frontpaged because Dex is a big contributor to this blog.

www.FriarsOnCardboard.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev

by TheThinGwynn on Jan 13, 2012 2:34 PM PST up reply actions 5 recs

also its nothing to do with fanposts or fanshots

but research purposes for Mentor on improving food choices at Petco. (or at least related to it) Besides whats the big deal of it being front paged? Theres still room to talk about baseball stuff -What little of it there is right now. Theres like 3 threads related to Moorad/Moores transfer or lack thereof, and there hasn’t been a trade in over a week,(uh oh..looks like we’re due for another one) so…might as well talk about this!

Scowling at Padres Losses since 1981

by Nater Tater on Jan 13, 2012 4:11 PM PST up reply actions

Yep

Tomorrow is trading day. Moorad might start rage-dealing. Headley better watch his back.

Why ask a failed romance to come watch your successful one? You know, that's like inviting the Seattle Mariners to a World Series game. It's just weird for everyone.

by Friar Fever on Jan 13, 2012 6:32 PM PST up reply actions

Trading Day

sounds like a Denzel Washington movie

Scowling at Padres Losses since 1981

by Nater Tater on Jan 13, 2012 7:38 PM PST up reply actions

What a day. What a motherf*cking day...

Why ask a failed romance to come watch your successful one? You know, that's like inviting the Seattle Mariners to a World Series game. It's just weird for everyone.

by Friar Fever on Jan 13, 2012 8:03 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs

some of this guac

might give me the fanshats

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

by Hormel on Jan 13, 2012 5:16 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

It is not a link

nor a quote, image, video, list, or chat.

No pants. No problem.

jbox likes it when the D hangs low.

by jodes0405 on Jan 13, 2012 10:32 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs

guacamole purist

none of that mango or jicama crap, make it straight up:

avocados
lime
onions
cilantro
salt n’ peppa

those are the 5 core ingredients, period. Tomatoes optional, I can see the arguments both ways….. If you want to add a little zest with cumin, garlic, jalapenos or other peppers, cool, but get out of my face with those big chunks of red bell pepper and whatever crazy BS you think is crafty.

by EitanBomb on Jan 13, 2012 3:22 PM PST reply actions

La Posta

on the topic, La Posta in Hillcrest may have the consistently best taco shop guacamole out there. And they are not skimpy with it.

by EitanBomb on Jan 13, 2012 3:23 PM PST up reply actions

I love when a taco shop just loads you up with guacamole

I hate when they load you up with the pale off-green guacamole/sour cream mix. Or if it looks like it was frozen. Ugh.

by Dex on Jan 13, 2012 3:38 PM PST up reply actions

Keep it simple

One avocado
Half a habanero pepper, minced and seeded
One small garlic clove, minced

Lightly sautee the habanero and garlic in several drops each of olive oil and white wine. Spoon the sauteed pepper and garlic onto the peeled avocado and mash.

Important note: It helps if you wear surgical gloves while working with that habanero.

by Blueberry Pancakes on Jan 14, 2012 7:11 AM PST reply actions

Oh God, the f_cking habanero

Got some of that stuff in my eyes one time when cooking Cajun-style chicken. I’ll still throw it in the guac to add some extra kick, but now I treat it like uranium when I’m working with it.

I have to agree with EitanBomb above— keep it simple and don’t get crazy when you’re personalizing. One of my dad’s friends always throws ginger in his, which just doesn’t work. Garlic, peppers, and tomatoes are good building blocks.

Yakety Sax: Making divisional matchups hilarious since 1963.
Gaslamp Ball: SMELLS LIKE PROSPECTS IN HERE

Please, call me StrangeBro.

by StrangeBroP25 on Jan 14, 2012 9:39 PM PST up reply actions

That doesn't sound simple.

No pants. No problem.

jbox likes it when the D hangs low.

by jodes0405 on Jan 14, 2012 11:31 PM PST up reply actions

Then just use

a packet of Lawry’s guacamole dip powder with a couple avocados. But, really, it’s worth doing a little chopping of fresh ingredients.

by Blueberry Pancakes on Jan 15, 2012 7:37 PM PST up reply actions

No.

I meant having to sautee the pepper and garlic. I’m just saying, don’t call it simple if you’re going to add a cooking aspect.

No pants. No problem.

jbox likes it when the D hangs low.

by jodes0405 on Jan 15, 2012 7:44 PM PST up reply actions

Yes, it is a bit odd

to use the verb “sautee” in a recipe for guacamole. But it only takes a minute or two. The pan and the stove do all the work. And the process helps the flavors to blend into the avocado more evenly.

by Blueberry Pancakes on Jan 15, 2012 8:08 PM PST up reply actions

Well you do take the seeds out of the habanero.

I was under the impression that those things had to be disposed of has hazardous waste.

by field39 on Jan 15, 2012 8:17 PM PST up reply actions

They are pretty damn hazardous

I’ve burned my eyes on the train on the way to work the morning after making guacamole by rubbing them with hands that had been washed any number of times. Had to wait till I got to work before I could douse them with water.

by Blueberry Pancakes on Jan 17, 2012 6:28 AM PST up reply actions