San Diego Padres dominate the Giants once again

by Dex on Sep 7, 2011 8:53 PM PDT

Pretend like the season just started. We just won our home opener and Heath Bell is on pace for like a billion saves. Will Venable is a major talent and Cam Maybin is the clutchiest player ever.

Keep pretending. You're not just sitting on a chair you bought from Ikea. That's actually an Eames lounge chair, and not one of those Russian knock-offs, but one with like Brazilian Rosewood. That sh_t's illegal.

Your TV isn't your TV, but the TV you really wanted. And it has a Roku that costs $300 for some reason. Like a Roku nobody else owns. That glass of Coke Zero in your hand? It's actually a bigger glass of Coke Zero.

But then the reality comes crashing down and you realize that we've only delayed the inevitable losing season for another day. At least we beat that b_tch Matt Cain though.

Go Padres.

Final - 9.7.2011	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	R	H	E
San Francisco Giants	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	1	7	1
San Diego Padres	1	0	0	0	0	1	0	1	X	7 = 21/x	5	1
WP: Aaron "The Baaron" Harang (13 - 5) SV: Heath "Business Sense" Bell (36) LP: "Punk B_tch" Matt Cain (11 - 10)

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Comments

Your nicknames are like my new favorite thing.

No pants. No problem.

jbox likes it when the D hangs low.

by jodes0405 on Sep 7, 2011 9:16 PM PDT reply actions

couldn't rec this fast enough

by iheartyourfart on Sep 8, 2011 6:04 AM PDT reply actions

Clutchiest

On the very next play Venable soiled the sheets again

by strummer on Sep 8, 2011 6:21 AM PDT reply actions

I need a Sumo Lounge and make it a Cherry Coke Zero.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Sep 8, 2011 9:53 AM PDT reply actions

I go with "Heart Attack" Heath and Monster Ab Zero

but I’ll rec.

by EvilSammy on Sep 8, 2011 10:19 AM PDT reply actions

Did you see that guy get pounded in the face by Venable's home run?

http://www.lobshots.com/2011/09/08/padres-fan-blasted-in-the-face-by-a-will-venable-home-run/

"Rob Johnson does not suck" --me
"Norf is straight up awesome on b-holes out there."--TheThinGwynn (sort of)
"I hate Rob Johnson's stupid face"-- sdchicken

by tonoxtono on Sep 8, 2011 12:33 PM PDT reply actions