Somebody did not think this hat through... like... at all. I mean, for one thing, it's a really big midget penis on the back of your head. There are very few ways to unsee the big midget penis once you've seen it the first time. It's just there, bobbing back and forth, left and right as Giants Fan moves from eating nachos to shouting loudly into his friend's ear about how much cooler Frisco is than San Diego.
And then there's the coloring of the thing. I know that's Giant brown, but it really solidifies flesh tones and ethnicity. I guess in yarns in becomes hard to differentiate gold from brown, but they should've completely gone to yellow. People don't normally think about yellow midget penises. Those really deep earth tones though. That's drifting around peoples minds all the time.
And what's the sparkly white stuff dotting the thing? What the f_ck is that. Is that like... semen? Don't they have tissues in Frisco? Old socks? How hard did these people jizz after that World Series victory? Apparently hard enough to break out just enough white fabric per hat for the drippings.
I mean, come on. I get it. You were happy, Giants Fan. Did you have to memorialize it on the back of your penis hat? Just waving it around out there, Bonds' roid shrunken testicles and all.