FanPost

Opening Day Thoughts

 

  • I should have just stayed home from work today.  Instead I'm working a half day.  The benefits include saving vacation time, killing time, and actually being allowed into the stadium at 2:00pm.  I may otherwise be too inebriated.
  • Multiple coworkers seem to be going to the game today, as well.  I don't work with many baseball fans.  Matter of fact, that's a big reason I hang out with you "virtual fans."  I'm encouraged by the amount of non-fans going but I'm discouraged by the chances of sitting by someone asking, "Where's Adrian?  This team will never win...Who's gonna pitch to Barry Bonds?"
  • Do you realize how hard it's going to be to get a table at Tilted Kilt today?  I don't even know how to try getting a table.  Is it worth the wait just to get a table for a beer and an exhibition of daddy problems?  This is supposed to be about baseball.
  • Will Venable is off to a good start but I think he'd be off to a better start if he called himself "Billy Venable."

 

 

  • This is my 3rd opening day with my Father-In-Law.  Traditions are fun.  The first one was against the Dodgers and we got to witness a good fight between some Samoans.  When the two large mammals were taken away by PETCO zookeepers, I was left yelling, "Give me samoa!!! I want samoa!!!"
  • Last opening day was against the Braves and we scored like 17 runs or something.  It was full-fledged buttsecks.  At the street fair someone was giving out samples of some alternative to potato chips called, "Pops."  My Father-In-Law asked the girl if he could pop her.  He really didn't mean anything gross by it, he thought he was being harmlessly funny.  I'll never forget the look on her face.
  • I've been wondering about the first pitch.  Have they announced who's throwing it out?  I think Eckstein would be a good choice.  If I see him walking to the mound I'm going to scrap my pants.
  • I feel like I'm going to the game dressed nice.  I'm wearing a brand new, long sleeve, Padre throw-back, some nice jeans and some boat shoes.  I'm going to look classy.  But not as classy as the games from 60 years ago.  I'd really like if opening day was a day you dressed up for.  Like the horse races.  People could either wear a suit, a dress, or a friar's robe.  Gentlemen would be expected to wear hats like skimmers, fedoras, or top hats.  Every lady would look nice in a sun dress and one of those big, flowy hats.  There would be absolutely no baseball caps allowed.
  • Check that; baseball caps would be allowed.  However, you give up any dignity by wearing a ball cap. Generally accepted practice would be to shower fashion offenders with peanuts, popcorn, and seeds.  These foods may already be chewed if the offender is wearing the visiting team's cap.
  • When is the last time the Padres sponsored a giveaway?  If the Padres make the playoffs, the following opening day should have a giveaway that is strictly Padres.  No Sycuan or BofA logo on it.  I'm talking a polo shirt or tie.  That way, opening day offenders will get a second chance to right themselves.
  • The first Padre home run of the season should be celebrated with the theme song from The Natural and fireworks coming out of the scoreboard and lights.
  • That's all I've got for now, back to work.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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