FanPost

Wiggins May Have Been Used


After an amazing time having sex on Padres sheets on his childhood, Wiggins thought the world was finally turning in his favor. But last night Wiggins called the lady he had sex with and, lo and behold, it was the infamous rejection line. Try calling it yourself and see what Wiggins means: 858-492-8002.

Wiggins is not just some piece of meat. Wiggins has feelings and thought this was the beginning of something special. Wiggins was on top of the world until that jerky voice said "This is not the person you were trying to call." WTF? Wiggins even did his famous hot sauce and mape syrup technique! Wiggins is pretty sure she liked it.

Oh, and Wiggins forgot to mention: She claimed she was a Padres fan. LIAR! No fan of the Padres would treat a fellow fan that way. On the way to the bus stop she even held Wiggins' hand and gave him a kiss before getting on the bus and heading back home. Doesn't that seem like she liked Wiggins?

So now what is Wiggins supposed to do? Wiggins thought he was finally going to have a girlfriend. Now alll Wiggins can think about is going on a Cougar Hunt.  A COUGAR HUNT!! But Wiggins is too much of a gentleman to beat women unless in self defense.

Who is Wiggins kidding? Wiggins is too depressed. Wiggins is thinking about going to go back to that bar and wait for her to show up. Wiggins is going to give that jerk a piece of his mind.  But that's too much work.

No, Wiggins is too depressed. Forget it. gRl!!

WHYWIGIGBNS LIFE TURN OU LIEK THIS? WIGGINS GO DIE NOW!

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball staff or SB Nation.