FanPost

Wiggins Just Had Sex on Padres Sheets from Childhood

When Wiggins was a young child, he had San Diego Padres sheets. Wiggins doesn't know where his mom bought the sheets from way back in the day, but he does know that they were pretty awesome. So awesome, in fact, that Wiggins had to beat up a kid who tried to steal the sheets from his house one day when they were supposed to be having an afterschool get together to play Mike Tyson's Punch Out and the kid went to "use the bathroom" only to be discovered stuffing Wiggins' sheets into his backpack. Wiggins don't play that.

Wiggins recently found these sheets and put them on his bed. So many years of memories came rushing back to Wiggins. Welcome back, old friends.

Today Wiggins met a girl at a bar. Well, Wiggins will admit that she was only "beer goggles pretty." In fact, she was kind of ugly, Wiggins supposes. And she wasn't a girl but a kind of lonely older lady. But that's okay. She was not bad for being about 50 years old. And not bad for being the type of lady who would hang out at a bar in the middle of the day and go home with a guy she doesn't know. She must have thought Wiggins was quite the man because before Wiggins knew what was happening, he was enjoying plenty of cushion for the pushin' on those old sheets.

The sheets are adorned with a repeating pattern of a brown Padres logo and Wiggins kind of forgot he was in the middle of sex a couple times, fondly remembering all the times he slept on those sheets after listening to or watching a Padres baseball game.


Can Wiggins get the roof raised for breaking his 3-year sexless streak in true Padres fashion? And better yet, Wiggins got her phone number. She wants to continue to hang out and have Padres sheets sex with Wiggins. Can this day get any better? Could this be love?

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Gaslamp Ball

You must be a member of Gaslamp Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gaslamp Ball. You should read them.

Join Gaslamp Ball

You must be a member of Gaslamp Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gaslamp Ball. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker