FanPost

Wiggins Put on Hold by Dodgers Fan


Wiggins can't necessarily prove it was a Dodgers fan, but Wiggins just called a customer service line of a company headquarterd in Los Angeles and was put on hold. Los Angeles + putting Wiggins on hold unnecessarily = YOU DO THE MATH. (But for those wondering what the answer is: DODGERS' PLOT AGAINST WIGGINS CONTINUES).

Now, you might be thinking, "Wiggins, you're paranoid. It has nothing to do with the Dodgers." Think again. Wiggins was calling none other than:

Emergency Bail Bonds
1223 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90017
(213) 221-4326

Why did Wiggins use a bail bonds place in Los Angeles? Well, Wiggins' mom had trouble finding a bail bonds place in San Diego that would put up the money, but somehow Emergency Bail Bonds did. After turning up no good leads, Wiggins' mom just called her cell phone's information line for a bil bonds place and was put in touch with Emergency Bail Bonds. Apparently they have affiliates in San Diego, but this location in LA oversees everything.

Wiggins' conversation basically went like this:

EBB: Hello, Emergency Bail Bonds.
Wiggins: Hi, this is Wiggins, calling for San Diego. Wiggins needs to speak with a supervisor.
EBB: Okay. Please hold.

Wiggins was on hold for a few minutes before he realized it was all part of the Dodgers' plan to make his life a living hell, like when there was a robot plot against George Jetson. Wiggins is the victim of a "Code (Dodgers) Blue" here!

Well, Emergency Bail Bonds can forget about Wiggins making his court appearances. He has a feeling they'll be working with the judge and jury to put Wiggins in prison. Wiggins isn't going back! Wiggins will not be hung by a jury of Dodgers fans and a Tommy Lasorda of a judge!

Incidentally, Wiggins might need to crash at one of your homes if something goes down. Who's going to habor a fellow Padres fan from a shitstorm of Dodgers hatred? Anyone? (Preferably a lady that will sleep with Wiggins)

Moral of the story: Dodgers suck.

Other moral of the story: If you ever get locked up, don't ever use Emergency Bail Bonds!

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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