I appreciate Trevor Hoffman more than you appreciate Trevor Hoffman

Listen to this as you read this post:

I realize now, as I've realized with other things, that I should've appreciated Trevor Hoffman more during his career. And that's saying quite a bit, because I always figured that he was the Greatest Closer Ever. But beyond that, there was more.

For all intents and purposes, Trevor Hoffman will be the last True Padres Hall of Famer. I'm talking a Hall of Famer that no one can argue is a Padre. The odds are just about nil that any of us will ever get to see a player as good as Trevor Hoffman play for so many years with the Padres and truly be known as a Padre. First off, it doesn't happen much at all anymore, even to the richest of teams and second off, Hall of Famers don't come around every 6 months.

There's nobody on the current roster who has a chance at that. There's nobody coming down the pipe.

Think about it. 

Trevor Hoffman is a Hall of Fame caliber player. Those kinds of guys absolutely do not stay in San Diego. There was exactly one other guy in Padres history who was a Hall of Famer and stayed with San Diego for the majority of his career and we built a statue for him. We named geographic locations after him.

And even if you don't think that Trevor touches Tony the Gwynn in terms of importance to the team, you have to admit to yourself that he's right up there with The Gwynn in terms of pure excitement and memories for the San Diego Padres

There is a reason why you still get chills when you hear Hell's Bells. You think of things like Off-Speed Kills and what a change-up REALLY means.

Therefore, to me, of course Trevor Hoffman deserves a statue. He deserves even more than that. He deserves like ridiculous things. In fact, this is what I would do for 2011...

First, start working on the statue and start making space on the batter's eye for the number 51.

Then...

Treat Trevor's 51 like Jackie Robinson's 42. Don't just retire it. Make every single reliever that plays for the Padres wear it. And then go beyond that and require that visiting relievers all wear the number 51. Then, like for save situations at Petco this season, play Hell's Bells, and run the fireball machines on top of the batters eye the whole time. And then, since Trevor's a Padres employee with no real job description, have Trevor Hoffman stand up there on top of the batters eye with his arms crossed, watching from on high as Patron Saint of Closers and Off-Speed Pitches. And then, while that's happening, I'll touch myself a little bit. Not so much as to get me excommunicated, but juuuust enough to take advantage of the all round appreciation that's going on. Then, after the save is completed, set up a laser light show and make it so Trevor shoots lasers and fireballs from his eyes and mouth at the opposing batter and the opposing dugout. And then I'll climax. Not sexually necessarily, but in like ecstasy. And then I'll jizz for real.

Go Padres. Thanks for the memories, Trevor.

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