Gaslamp Ball in the Busch

Busch Stadium was warm and wet, like a crotch

Over the past few days I took a trip to the Midwest and caught two baseball games.  On Saturday in St. Louis, Gaslamp Baller thenerdhater and I bought some $5 tickets from a scalper and saw the Cubs beat the Cardinals in the New Busch Stadium. 

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The new stadium looked nice with all of it's red brick and wrought iron, though kinda plain.  I'm so used to new ballparks having unique features that I felt Busch lacked.  Maybe I was slightly underwhelmed because with the heat and humidity it felt and smelt like an armpit.

I asked if there was any specialty foods that I should try at Busch and was told to try the hot dog.  See what I'm talking about?  With my Plain Jane hot dog in hand I approached the condiment station.  I gasped with amazement when I saw all of their assortment of condiments.  They had all types of mustard, ketchup, barbecue sauce, ranch dressing, mayonnaise, relish and who knows what else.  I always thought you had to refrigerate ranch, so I didn't dare try it, but apparently Clorox invented a version that does not require refrigeration.

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We mostly wandered the stadium stopping here and there to watch the game.  I paid $1.25 to throw a few baseballs in front of the radar gun.  I asked the lady working the booth who threw the fastest that day, trying to size up my competition.  She told me that earlier someone had thrown 94mph.  I threw 3 pitches and topped out at 67mph.  Something must be wrong with the gun.

A decade ago we went to Old Busch and watched as the temperature dropped 30 degrees in about 15 minutes as a storm blew threw the stadium.  This weekend we weren't so lucky and it never cooled off.  Fortunately Fireman were spraying a hose for kids and bloggers to cool down.  I briefly considered stripping to my underwears and taking a shower but after further consideration just dunked my head.

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I tried to feign interest in the game, but I have a hard time caring about any team besides the Padres.  I wasn't fooling anyone.  Here we were watching one of baseball's great rivalries and my mind kept wandering back to those assorted condiments.

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